Friday, January 21, 2011

Letters to pgh drivers....

Dear People of Pittsburgh,

I do NOT want to spend 14 miles of my 27 mile commute getting my car assaulted with salt from the salt truck on 279/79. Do me a favor?

Pass the EFFING salt truck. Please. Pretty please?
Or get the hell out of my way so I can. I don't particularly care to have it slamming off car more than it already does on a regular damn basis. Really.

Love w bitchiness,

P.s. thank you to the people who for the first time in 17 yrs now plow my moms dead end hill. Not having to walk that hill in the winter is wonderful. Also the disabled residence love you too.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Updated "Shit I want to do" List

Updated List:
  • Go to the Ocean. 
  • Go to see Falling Water 
  • Go to Kennywood for phantom fright nights  (next year item)
  • Heinz History Center
  • The PGH Glass Center
  • Phipps Conservatory
And really... there are places on this list that I should have been to before... I grew up here for the love of Gawd.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Rants Have Returned.

Welcome 2011!!!!


Anyway. After spending a month with out land line internet to my PC... Big Yellow is now wireless. The land line running to the PC went bad. It was easier to spend $20 on a USB wireless than try to run a new line to my room. Lets just leave it that that
I have a post Christmas parent type rant. (cause it ain't Christmas unless I'm bitching)

Packaging. Toy Packaging.
And "directions."

First, directions. The tiny princess castle was Direction FAIL. There was a sticker sheet, cause apparently its TOO EXPENSIVE for the manufacturer to put stickers on... and the direction paper was seriously 2 little pages. The fail came to applying the stickers. It only showed about half the sticker placement.
Then it said this, "See product picture on box for sticker placement."
Here is the problem. SOMEBODY did not make sure the picture on the box was the SAME as the item IN THE BOX.
It wasn't.
Apparently they made the castle "bigger" on the box. Or they made it smaller later to fit in the box. I know this because I looked at the places where there were random stupid stickers in the picture... and then looked on the castle to see there was NO WAY POSSIBLE to fit an effing sticker in that spot. I improvised. I generally ignored the picture on the box. I was so pissed though.

Barbie's vacation home thing is also guilty. There are these clips to attach TV's and lights when the vacation house is opened up. The directions are so bad, I am still not sure I have the right clips on the right items. Also, it took me 10 minutes to figure out what these were:

That's a tiny remote and a tiny effing ipod/speakers. There was no mentions of the items. I thought the ipod thing was a part because there is no detailing on the back of either item like there is on the front. Stupid.
Even the damn barbie car. It had 2 sticker sheets and little side mirrors that needed attached. No directions at all. NONE.
Add an impatient 3 (almost 4 yr old) to the mix....

Now, we will talk about Barbie. Julia LOVES Barbies. The Tiny Disney Princesses, the Tinkerbell line (I'm always the bitchy black haired fairy), the Barbies themselves...  she loves them. I, on the other hand, HATE getting the Mother Effers out of the packaging. (yes. effers. I'm trying to say the F word Less. Don't judge me.)

WHY is the barbie hair SEWN to the box when she has 27 plastic tie things, (no, not the twist ties) and 20 tiny clear bands holding her in???!! Not to mention the shipping grade tape on the outside of the damn box. And she has the ties in her damn HEAD. So, when you do rip her out in frustration, you have to take small scissors, find them in her hair, cut the T shaped part sticking out, then shove the rest in her little plastic effing skull with out leaving a bald spot on the damn doll. How about you just put little effing bands in her hair so that I don't RIP OUT what hair I didn't cut???

I had several minor injuries from the damn packaging on my hands.
And a massive headache.
Merry Effing Christmas.