Sunday, December 21, 2008

The beginnings of a cult....

Mindbling! Look what you started :-) I got me 3 followers now!!!

Wooo Hoo! :-)

Saturday, December 20, 2008

OOHHH 2 followers!!!(updated)

Lookie!! Way down there on the left! I have a Rant Follower. Woohoo Mindbling!!! Your the first official Rant Follower! Thanks!! Love your blog too :-)

Please visit the link in my blog roll to her blog. :-)

I have a new Love this church pic for you all, but I haven't had a chance to transfer it to the pc from my phone. Will someone fix the F-ing mobile blogger for Tmobile already???


Now I have 2!! I'm on the way to world domination! HAHAHAHA!!!!

Not. :-)

It seemed silly to add another post. So, I am giving a shout out to Erin Patricia!!! Who is also on my blog roll too! Thanks ladies, for making me feel like someone actually reads the crazy shit I post over here. :-)

Friday, December 19, 2008

Oh Human Race!

In high school, while taking a sociology class my senior year, a study fascinated me so much that in college I took more Psych and sociology classes so I could better understand Human idiots.
To provide a background of understanding to those that don't know me:: I was never in the IN crowd. I was always a little outside the circles of cliques. I was younger than all my peers and at the same time more mature than most of them due to my life experiences.
Also, My mom told me 2 very important things when I was younger::

#1 That if there is something I didn't want do to, Blame her.
#2 There are leaders and followers. Why be a follower?

So, I was used to not conforming, and once I hit high school I made it an art form. I am not talking tattoo, underage drinking and craziness, I just didn't do that stuff because everyone else was. Because they were doing it was not a valid reason to do something for me. In fact, my response to those pressuring me became "I don't give in to peer pressure."
Yeah, that usually made people back off. :-)

So when I stumbled on to this article on my new favorite place to find crazy online, MSNBC, I just have to write about it.

Here is the story: Shocking? Most will torture if ordered.
I recommend that EVERYONE who reads this blog- read the whole article. You should understand the mental pressure to conform is enormous. Also, take time to read about the cliff notes version of the original experiment too. So, learn from it, don't be a moron.

Some things never change. Scientists said on Friday they had replicated an experiment in which people obediently delivered painful shocks to others if encouraged to do so by authority figures.

Seventy percent of volunteers continued to administer electrical shocks — or at least they believed they were doing so — even after an actor claimed they were painful, Jerry Burger of Santa Clara University in California found. The obedience rates in the new study were only slightly statistically lower than in the notorious original experiments, which were conducted in the early 1960s by Yale University professor Stanley Milgram.

Seventy Percent!!??? Stop being SHEEP people! You have a brain. USE IT.

Burger modified the experiment, by stopping at the 150 volt point for the 29 men and 41 women in his experiment. He measured how many of his volunteers began to deliver another shock when prompted by the experiment's leader — but instead of letting them do so, stopped them.
In Burger's modified experiment, 70 percent of the volunteers were willing to give shocks greater than 150 volts.

Hey you-- Human race! Your disappointing me here.

At one point, researchers brought in a volunteer who knew what was going on and refused to administer shocks beyond 150 volts. Despite the example, 63 percent of the participants continued administering shocks past 150 volts.
Even with an example of non-conformity.... you still have the BAAAA factor going on.

Milgram created a documentary film titled Obedience showing the experiment and its results. He also produced a series of five social psychology films, some of which dealt with his experiments. It was these films that fascinated me so. In college, I actually got to watch them in class. I was appalled at how easily a simple statement would get most to continue after being assured that they would not be held responsible or other things like "please continue" in the original version.

So there is my serious side. Don't be a sheep. Think about your personal morals before you just do whatever it is someone tells you too. If your pressing a button and its hurting someone, You ARE responsible. I wish some one had told the researcher to push the button instead. Damn sheep.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Some poeple are just CRAZY.

Ok, in my boredom today. I found these articles:

Bury me with my cell phone

All I have to say is Why? Ok I sorta understand why when the article says this:

Some do it for the same reason people have always tucked mementos into a casket (or tomb, as in the case of King Tut). People want to surround themselves (or their loved ones) with the things they hold dear, whether that’s their cell phone and headset or some family photos, a fishing rod, a piece of treasured jewelry.
But this part.... is just totally CREEPY!!

Others do it as a way to provide comfort — both to themselves and the departed.

“I’ve seen family members place iPod earphones on the decedent and play songs as the casket closed,” says Pam Vetter, a Los Angeles funeral planner who helps create more personalized services for families.

I guess maybe cause funerals freak me out a little... But seeing someone *wearing* an Ipod and it playing while they are in the coffin.... *Shudder* Creepy.
And I just don't get this:
“We had a young man die this past summer and they put his cell phone in the casket for the viewing and it rang constantly,” he says. “It was turned to silent, but you could see the phone light up so you knew people were calling. And they were leaving messages. They knew he was dead, but they were still calling.”
Again... Why? Show up and pay your respects. Don't call the dead guy. Its rude in my book. Of course, MSNBC is awesome at linking me to an even creepier story:

Deceased Lawyer Still Takes Calls

And the story is summed up nice and creepy like this:

When Manhattan criminal defense attorney John Jacobs died in 2005, his wife, Marion Seltzer, not only buried him with his phone and a fully charged battery, she continues to pay the monthly phone bill and even calls him on occasion (since the battery’s now dead, the calls immediately go into Jacobs’ voicemail). She also had his cell phone number carved onto his headstone so others can call him
The headstone has the usual markings: his name, birth and death dates, and the words "Rest in Peace."

And, reports Scott Rapoport of CBS station WCBS-TV in New York, it has something else: Jacobs' cell phone number.
HUH? WHY? Can't the guy actually REST IN PEACE? Do you think his spirit might be thinking "QUIT f&*$ing calling me Already!!"
I know I would. Here is my notice. DO NOT bury me with my damn phone. I don't want calls or text messages after I'm gone.

Creepy crazy ass people.

I have added a poll so you can vote. :-)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Love this Church!!

I was so excited when I saw the sign today :-)

OK, so... Know the no??? Is "No" an entity now? Is this like "Know the man?" or is "no" a thing? As in "Know the Trolley?" I want to know what "Know the No" means!!

Love this church!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Randomness!! Pic Edition

Someone at work bought me a calendar full of funny/stupid things. Today I decided to post a couple that truly amuse me.

Working in tech support, I can appreciate this kind of stupidity.

The correct answer is : "Lady, put it back in the box and take the computer back to the store because you are not smart enough to own one."

Here are my new favorite reasons NOT to go to work:

Number 1 is my all time favorite... LOL
I have a bunch more and I'll dig them out and post them here for you to giggle at..

Monday, December 8, 2008

Who is the 3rd world country now?

I saw this article in the Trib. Mandated sick days in focus

I think this is important. Not just because I have kid. But because I spent time working for an employer who had (and may still have) terribly unfriendly family policies. This employer who I will call SlowShip had a policy of giving you sick days, but penalizing your stats for using them. I spent 3 months one winter sick, because everyone kept coming to work sick as HELL, and in the open triangle (no cubes) workspace- it was just a germ free for all. (At least in my current job, I have 3 walls between me and the rest of the office.)

that was when I started looking for a new job. My husband also worked for an employer who offered no sick time at all. Which is just as bad as SlowShip's policy. The reason employers should offer sick days should be clear. When I spent almost an entire 3 months sick, I know my production was not top notch, its difficult to focus when your sinus are about to explode or your throat feels like you swallowed a cactus. Add to that, no sick days. Multiply that by 100.

Now Mr employer. That is 100 people not working their best cause you won't give sick days. Tell me something.... Will you lose more money from the colossal loss of productivity for 3 months or from granting even 5 sick days to let the contagious stay home once in a while and NOT infect your entire workforce??? No lying. I know it cheaper to give sick days.

Here are a few notable stats about sick days from that article:

  • The United States is one of only four countries out of 173 in a recent survey that doesn't guarantee some form of paid maternity leave; the others are Liberia, Swaziland and Papua New Guinea.
  • Sixty-six countries, but not the United States, ensure that fathers either receive paid paternity leave or have a right to paid parental leave.
  • At least 145 countries provide paid sick days, with 136 providing a week or more annually, while the United States has no federal law providing for paid sick days.
This is pathetic. I am glad that my current employer doesn't have such terrible policies. I don't spend months being sick because someone is sneezing and coughing on me. It still happens on occasion. But having a sick day is nice

Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner, who co-founded the grass-roots, Internet-based group MomsRising three years ago, says policy-makers need to push harder for family-friendly workplace practices reflecting the fact that three-quarters of mothers now work.

"Our labor policies haven't caught up," she said. "Kids and mothers are falling through the cracks, and in a time of economic crisis the pressures will only get worse."

That, as Pitt girl would say, is Church!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Oh Luke!

In honor of PittGirl... I have to post this.

Here in the Trib an article to make your brain hurt: Energy efficiency concepts little bit of hot air, there seems to be a bit of confusion....

As part of that new culture, Ravenstahl said an "energy audit" of the City-County Building is being done to evaluate how much it is wasting in utilities and find ways to make it more environmentally friendly.

Lindsay Baxter, Pittsburgh's new sustainability coordinator, said the audit has not begun.

Huh.... Guess someone forgot to tell her all about it, right? That is his story and he is sticking to it! We aren't done yet:

To cut energy costs, Ravenstahl told the group the city is pursuing putting windmills atop Mt. Washington to generate electricity via wind-driven turbines. He acknowledged such a plan could prove difficult.

"You know how tricky it is even building a building on Mt. Washington, much less building a windmill up there to generate energy," Ravenstahl told the group.

To which Miss Baxter replies::

"That's not something that we're pursuing currently," Baxter said after Ravenstahl's speech. "I think he mentioned that for the symbolism of it."

Instead, Baxter said the city is seeking money to install a solar panel atop a single city-owned building that is relatively energy efficient.

What? Again? OK, Who didn't get the FINAL version of the damn memo/speech?? That person needs fired. SRSLY. Who's blackberry wasn't synced properly? Hmmm? But we aren't done YET. There is more:

He singled out Three PNC Plaza as "the largest mixed-use green building anywhere in the world."

That's not quite right. The 23-story tower is slated to be finished in 2009 and will be "one of the nation's largest green, mixed-use buildings," said Fred Solomon, a PNC Bank spokesman.
dun dun dunnnn!!!

I wanna like Luke, really I do. But when I see dumb stuff like this I just have to shake my head and wonder....

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Stupid News Stories.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I am particularly bitchy right now. But I have to rant. alot. To feel better. Also, I have a feeling, later this evening, I will be posting my first ever guest rant from a friend of mine....

To make myself feel better, this is the post were I make fun of the stupid stories out there and/or the stupid people in the stories.


First Stupid News Story:

Its not the the story itself is stupid... It is the "DUH!" comments within the story that kills me.

FDIC: Bank overdraft fees hit young, low-income customers

Young and low-income consumers are disproportionately affected by overdraft fees.
DUH!!! Rich people dont have this problem. Cause they have a LOT of MONEY. This is like saying poor people require public transportation more often. Of course they do, they are POOR.

Overdraft fees suck. The new way banks process transactions also sucks. I understand why.... But I still don't like it.


Police discover suspected 'robber' at PNC bank was a cardboard cutout

I have to quote the whole little article. This went on for 90!! minutes. 3 apartment buildings were emptied.... I guess they thought a MIME was robbing the place.

A New Jersey SWAT team stormed a bank branch Thanksgiving night - only to find out the suspect was nothing more than a cardboard cutout person.

Cops first spotted the menacing-looking figure inside the PNC branch in Montgomery Township when they responded to an alarm there.

The first officers saw the shadowy image behind the closed blinds of the bank branch, which was closed for the holiday.

They used bullhorns and telephone calls to try to make contact.

No luck.

After an hour-long standoff, the SWAT team decided to end the impasse. They found no one inside except the life-sized cutout.

All I have to say is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
An amusing version of the story can be found here on NBC Chicago's web site.


Deer gets revenge after hunter shoots him

Randy Goodman, 49, said he thought two well-placed shots with his .270-caliber rifle had killed the buck on Nov. 19. Goodman said the deer looked dead to him, but seconds later the nine-point, 240-pound animal came to life.
I am going to say that hunting is an important skill we should never lose and its needed in some cases to prevent over population which could lead to accidents and so on.....

My opinion: Get back to the shooting range pal cause you need some practice!!! And I call this "sometimes nature bites back!!!" HA!

I'm sure I will find more later. My last note-- Just cause I got girl parts, doesn't mean I don't know my way around a PC. 3 times in the last month I have had men talk down to me because being female means I must not know anything. You know what stupid men I talked to: I hate you and your sterotypes. I bet I know more about computers than all 3 of those morons put together. My job prevents me from simply telling these men to hang up if they are going to dismiss everything I say. But i can complain here. Jagoffs.....

Friday, November 28, 2008

People Suck.

This article on MSNBC.... Makes me hate people. This is why I NEVER shop on Black Friday. I hope that the morons who felt it was **necessary** To kill a man to get a F&$*ing Deal... all rot in hell. I hope the dvd player or Tv that they killed for was worth it. In fact, I hope it breaks the day after the warranty expires. I hope they drop it the night before Christmas and they can't get it replaced.

Wal-Mart worker dies after crowd rushes store

A co-worker said the clerk was "bum-rushed by 200 people," according to the New York Daily News. "They took the doors off the hinges," said Jimmy Overby. "He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too ... I literally had to fight people off my back."

Unconfirmed reports said a pregnant woman also miscarried as the crowd rushed in. Police added that "a 28-year-old pregnant female was also transported to an area hospital for observation."

I hope Karma comes back and kicks them all in the ass. To the people who trampled a PREGNANT Woman and killed a guy: If its bad and it could happen. I hope it does. To you.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., in Bentonville, Ark., would not confirm the reports of a stampede during the day-after-Thanksgiving bargain hunting, but said a "medical emergency" caused them to close the store.
SRSLY!!! A stampede? Are we Cattle? I guess so, apparently we are acting like it!!! WTF is walmart giving away that you have to hurt or kill someone for it? Crack? Barrels of money? WHAT!!!???

My brain is going to explode.....

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Piggies and Kitkats

I bought Julia bathtub markers.... Only I spent more time drawing her piggies and kitkats than she did playing with it. She would then scribble it out an ask "where go?" and hand me the marker to start all over again.

Don't make fun of my drawing!

Love this church....

There will be a couple more church pics. Hopefully, I can get them friday morning before they change the signs. Its too dark when I leave work to get good pics... Now, onward with the silliness:

Do not aspire, do not dream. Dont bother.... HA!!

This, to me, is hilarious.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Tennis Shoes are for sissies!

I will be the first to tell you that I am a poster child for Klutz. I fall. Frequently. Everybody falls. I am the rare person who admits it. I have tripped and fallen in south hills junction during the height of morning rush hour while trying to get to the trolley. I fell once, two houses up from where I live, heading to the bus stop and a lady in her car actually stopped to see if i was ok. I was 4 months pregnant and tripped in my own yard trying to get out of the rain. I have tripped on rocks and damn near landed in traffic. Bottom line is that if there is anyone who should not wear heels... Its me. :-)

However, I am going to take this moment to make fun of people who wear tennis shoes and socks to work. (disclaimer: if there is snow on the ground all fashion rules are out the window cause falling in snow sucks.)

Its almost a classic scene out of "9-to-5" Big hair, power suit/skirt (dark maroon), full make up and tan pantyhose. That is what I see sitting on the bus when she gets on. Ok, the hair is not 80's huge, but fluffy nonetheless. And then I see it. The super white sensible shoes and white socks. I just want to burst out laughing. She has got what could amount to luggage on her shoulder which I hope has some heels in it. Cause if she doesn't whip out some killer stilettos-- that outfit will be an epic FAIL.

The summer version of this are the women my age and younger who wear their flip flops, no pantyhose and they are chic right out of H&M. I am sure their dainty bags had Jimmie Choos or Manolo Blahniks in them. They don't look ridiculous. Even their flip flops are bejeweled or other wise glittery.

I am no fashionista, but this lady... was not chic. The white shoes were so dollar store cheesy. I would have taken a pic for everyone, but I just couldn't embarrass her more than she already should be. Walking through town today, I noticed that I was not the only one who wears the same shoes through out the entire work commute. Hell, I rarely walk out of the house in anything less than 2 inch heel. (that has more to do with me not liking that I am 5 foot tall and that makes all my pants too long) Downtown is not so big that you need walking shoes just to get to work. Not when the bus does a loop right through the middle of town and crosses close to the trolley stops.... Hey, If I can do it. Any one can. :-)

So, the moral of this story. "Tennis shoes are for sissies"

Saturday, November 22, 2008

What T F is wrong with people?

You know what? I lied. I did find something that really pisses me off. REALLY.

This article at MSNBC on Parents who needlessly let their children Die.

I hope they all go to jail. And they should not be allowed to have anymore children if they don't intend to care for them. This is unacceptable. Why aren't Pro life people screaming at these parents?

"What struck me was the fact that it was obvious from the expressions on the headstones that the children were loved," Asser said. "So it was especially troublesome they were not afforded the care that most parents would give their children."

Care that would have saved their lives. Maybe a life that could have made a huge difference in the world. Instead, the life is needlessly lost. And what makes my head want to burst, cause I cant FATHOM doing this to my daughter:

In the other Oregon case, Carl Brent Worthington and his wife, Raylene, have pleaded not guilty to charges of manslaughter and criminal mistreatment in the death of their 15-month-old daughter, Ava, who died at home from bacterial pneumonia and a blood infection, conditions the state medical examiner said were treatable.
Nice. Your child didn't even make it two years and you killed her. How can they look in the mirror? Let me add something from this article:

They belong to the Followers of Christ Church, whose members have a history of treating gravely ill children only with prayer.
What? Only with prayer? Hey, I love God too, but I think he is a little busy and I always thought that as a PARENT, you are that child's answer. YOU are supposed to be the one to care. In a child's eye, Mother is God.
And finally:

The Worthingtons also lost a baby boy in 2001, but an investigation was closed after family members told police the child was stillborn.
Don't spout religion to me. I don't wanna hear it. There is not an argument in this world I will agree with when it comes to getting the proper medical care for your child. I am a parent. and damn it, I love her so much I will seek out what ever medical care she needs, no questions asked. When you have a baby there is an unspoken promise to love, nurture, and properly care for that baby UNCONDITIONALLY. I don't think the bible says let your kids die if modern medicine can cure them. This is not some 3rd world country where you can't get medical help.

That's all I have to say about that.


I have been trying to come up with something to write. I got nothing. Not having Pittgirl around blogging as left me a bit uninspired. I have like two "Love this church" pics in my phone. But mobile blogger is still broken for me. At night, I just haven't had the energy to get the pics off the phone, upload them and then write something funny at 1230 at night. Not when the house needs cleaned, the laundry and dishes need done and I have to check my email...


I have a 22 month old who likes to take late afternoon naps and not go to bed until 11pm. I just can't even turn on my computer while she is awake.... "oooo whatisthat mommy?"

Other than traffic, snowy roads and a cold ass bus, even light up night was uneventful. I think my new blue coat doesn't attract the freaks like the tweety yellow one used to. Who knew?


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Monday, November 17, 2008

Things That Piss me Off: The NFL Refs

Players get fined for all kinds of reasons. They can't say anything or they get fined, they can't tackle too hard or they get fined. But yet, shit like this continues! The game score should be 17-10 Steelers, it will go down in history as the only game in over 12,000 to have a 11-10 score. Here is the moron's explanation:

"Referee Scott Green admitted after the game that his crew not only blew a call that cost Troy Polamalu a touchdown on the final play, but they confirmed it by using instant replay."
Here is the Post Gazette link Bull shit is what it is.

"Green and his crew at the least will have plenty to answer to their bosses today about the last call."
Really? I doubt it. Bad calls continue. Here is another link at ESPN

Green was asked why, since the ball didn't hit the ground during any of the tossing, the officials decided after huddling that the play should have ended.

"We didn't kill it on the field," Green said. "After [the] discussion we decided ... there was some confusion over which pass we were talking about and it was decided that it was the second pass that was illegal that did hit the ground and therefore we killed the play there."

However, the officials realized afterward they erred.

"I know," Green said. "The rule was misinterpreted."

That should be a fine. Fine the refs too. They had instant replay and still could not get it right. The NFL fines players on non penalty tackles and hits, days after the game is over. They send letters of apology to owners and teams. They are basically admitting either their refs are too dumb to make the right calls aleady. Doesn't game speed matter? Sometimes you can't put the breaks on.

To spread the bitching:
Our red zone offense was deploreable. How do you have 2 interceptions and only have 11 damn points? WFT is the problem? Yes, I understand injuries. But damn, tell max starks to earn his 7 million and make room for the running back to get over the goal line!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Sleep? Where? What is that?

Most people know I am a Mom. Right now, I am a tired one.

My daughter and I have a unique bedtime routine. This has been since she was about 15 months old and showed her extraordinary climbing abilities. My fear of her cracking her head off the floor meant I removed the front rail of her crib and replaced it with a child's twin bed safety rail. It allows her to get out of bed without diving over the top. but she won't lay in her bed alone ad go to sleep. She likes to lay next to me and I refuse to let her sleep in our already snug full size bed.

Our routine consists of getting a bath, jammies, a warm sippy cup of milk and her snuggle(s). We head up to her bedroom around 930-10pm, close the door with just her night light and the radio on low, and lay on the fluffy rug my mom made for her that is right next to her bed.

Now the fluffy rug is made of very thick hook latched yarn. It's soft. I have 2 pillows, 2 blankets (1 for me. 1 for her) Ideally, she drinks her warm milk, lays down and falls asleep next to me. After the required waiting period, I pick her up, put her in bed and go on about my business for the rest of the evening. What usually happens, is that she plays a little, we talk and then she falls asleep.

Lately its not been working. Instead of sleeping by 1030, its more like 1130- midnight. And this is just not working for me. I need to clean, do laundry, and still like to get a nice quiet hour to myself (usually at the PC) before I crash. Last night. It was 230 am!!! Because she fell asleep in the car for 20 minutes. On the way home from my stepsister's.... I blame winter for this. I blame shorter days for this. I don't know if I can do this any better. Its hard to reason with a 22 month old about bedtime. I really don't mind our routine. We get this special mom/daughter time. I just wish it wouldn't last all freaking night. Any suggestions?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Misc. Things that are currently Pissing me off.

On my list today (and its a big rant) is some old favorites--- People who don't listen. The conversation went like a lot like this:

ME: "In the Online Banking center window, at the bottom, it says 'Items Received'. Click on the 'View' button next to it."

DUMB ASS: "Do I click 'Go Online'?" (not looking at the bottom cause she apparently doesn't know her top from her bottom)

ME: "No. Look at the bottom next to where it says "Items Received." There is a View button. Do you see it? Click on that."

DA: "The button says 'go online'..."

ME: (sick of repeating myself an using the same tone I do with my 21 month old now) "Look at the b.o.t.t.o.m. of the box, where it says 'Items received.' Not 'Items to send' at the top."

DA: "Ok. I see that."

ME: "Click on the 'View' button on the right"

DA: "I click the 'view' button?"

My head was very close to exploding. I declared I hate people. I don't understood how this kind of dumbness remembers to breathe.

Other items on the list.

  • People who dislike the new president simply because of his racial heritage.... You know what? Its 2008. Get over it. Shut up and move to Canada if you don't like it.
  • Mobile Blogger. SRSLY!!! Fix it already. Its been broken since Oct 19th. This is seriously impacting my ability to blog. It annoying me and today, its pissing me off! I don't get on my home pc until 11pm sometimes and by then i usually forget what it was i wanted to write or my phone needs charged more than I need to transfer pics to my PC. In case. fix it. please.
  • Port Authority wants to strike cause 3% increases aren't enough? Really? Get real. In the real world, I can't come to work late 13 times and not get in trouble. In the real world I can't call off 60, yes 60!!!! times and still have a damn job. In the real world I contribute to my health insurance for my family, and it goes up every year. In the real world I have to work over 40 hours in a week to get paid overtime. In the real world I don't make $23.00 an hour, which is why I take the freaking BUS to work. See that conversation above? I should be making that to deal with such stupid people. I offer this quote from This Must Read Post Gazette article::
    "With Port Authority drivers getting the highest top hourly wage in any metro area when adjusted for cost of living, with four times as much spending on retiree health care as Philadelphia's system (even when SEPTA has three times the employees) and with full retirement benefits awarded to employees after only 25 years of service with no age requirement -- this is a system doomed to financial failure."
    Really? You think? I wonder. The 20 Union board members (yes a ridiculous 20!)... Do you still get paid when the drivers (that get my ass to work most of the time) strike or get locked out? What are you really doing for them? Who are you in it for? I think the union is stuck in the past. And 1 final question.... If PAT goes belly up- Who is gonna pay for all your shit then?
  • And finally. The end of Daylight Savings Time pisses me off. I hate that it is dark when I come home

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Stupid Hall Of Fame...

So, with mobile blogger still broken, no funny insights from my favorite church and a kid who refuses to sleep before 1030 pm.... I turned to the Odd news to find things that just make you shake your head and wonder ..... Pitt Girl has craigslist ads, I have odd news. :-) By the way, I love her site!

How to know when you have had too much to drink:

Police: Man urinates on dog after owner spurns sex (AP)

Why? Why are you peeing on a dog?

According to police reports, the man was drunk when he argued with the woman. After she resisted his advances the man went to the basement where he urinated on her dog and the floor
Poor dog....

And this is just plain stupid... I can't make this kind of stupid up!!

Men nabbed after playing 'chicken' with police car (AP)

BETHANY, Okla. – Three Oklahoma City men were arrested after playing "chicken" with a police car. Police said a 23-year-old man drove his car at the oncoming patrol car driven by Capt. J.D. Reid and didn't move until Reid swerved out of the way. Reid then chased the car until it crashed. The driver was found inside the car, another 22-year-old man was found lying outside the vehicle and a third man was found hiding behind a traffic sign.

Two of the men were hospitalized and the third was treated and taken to the Oklahoma County jail where he's being held without bond.

Police say the driver apparently decided on a whim to play chicken car and didn't realize the car was a police car.

Do you people in oklahoma have nothing to do?

Below is proof that London has dumb ass people too.

Police arrest naked burglary suspect

A naked man was arrested on suspicion of burglary Wednesday after getting stuck in the chimney of the Tesco store he was allegedly trying to steal from, police said.

Yep, I think that sums it up. Naked. WTF was he NAKED!?

"It is believed some of his clothes came off as a result of him struggling to get out of the chimney," police said in a statement.
WHAT? NO! You don't suddenly become Naked in a chimney! Clothes don't just fall off! You have to take them off.

And finally. Proof that some people are just mental cases:

McCain volunteer admits to hoax

Ms. Todd told police a black man with a knife approached her at a banking machine at Citizens Bank at Liberty Avenue and Pearl Street in Bloomfield shortly before 9 p.m. Wednesday. She said after she gave him $60, the robber spotted the McCain stickers on her car, became enraged, knocked her to the ground and punched and kicked her.

She quoted him as saying "You are going to be a Barack supporter," as he sat on her chest, pinning both of her hands down, and scratched the letter "B" on her right cheek.

First among the problems with her story was the fact that the "B" scratched on her face was backwards -- as it might be if she had done it herself using a mirror.

"The backwards 'B' was the obvious thing to us when we first saw her. Something just didn't seem right," Assistant Chief Bryant said. "And, first of all, with our local robbers, they take the money [and flee]. They're in and out. They're not stopping to do artwork."

Additionally, said Lt. Kevin Kraus, investigators were struck "that it was a superficial, pristine 'B,' which seemed highly inconsistent with the story she reported that it was a violent attack, basically in which she was fighting for her life."

She needs help. Clearly.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Anyone want to get uh dirty? Hehehe...

After plugging my phone into my pc and copying the pic right from it, I have now uploaded my church post from monday.

Need I say anything? I wish I could hear this sermon! Oh I can think of some things that fit this.

Cause my mind is naughty like that! Yes it is. :-) I will certainly feel 'healed' afterwards too. Who wouldn't?!

Then of course there is the innocent kind- this involves playing with children at their level- in the water, dirt, mud, chalk, crayons, sea of toys or finger paints (in burgbaby's case). This can be healing an dirty too.

But lets be clear- I was thinking adult fun first :-) I love this church.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Damn Mobile Blogger....

So, I have a new church pic that I would love to share. And since I started this blog in August, i have had no problems sending stuff from my phone. Until Yesterday. Now I get a message that mobile blogger doesn't support tmobile. HUH? Why not all of a sudden?? So I posted in Blogger's help group. Who knows when or if it will be fixed... So this evening I will be trying to figure out how to download, then upload then post the church pic. FUN.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


Awesome Snapple fact:

Frogs don't drink!!

I love it.


So here are some things that have made me stop and think: WTF??!!

An Internet game in which players roam a school and kill kindergarten students with a shotgun has been pulled from a Finnish children's gaming site one week after the country's worst school shooting.

"We have removed pages from our site that are not necessarily appropriate for younger family members," said in a statement on its Web site.

The game, "Kindergarten Killer," can be found widely on the Web.

You can find this jem HERE on Reuters. All I can say is: Are you F-ing kidding me? "Kindergarten Killer" WHAT!? On a *kids* website! Who are the sick people who make this shit!!?? How did this "game" end up on a kids gaming site? WHO the HELL thought that was good idea???

Oh and this is just disturbing.... Australian boy wreaks zoo havoc while feeding croc

An Australian boy was caught in the act when he fed 13 rare reptiles in the zoo to a crocodile. He killed a few of them and then wanted to climb over the security fence.

The security cameras at the Alice Springs Reptile Center in Northern Territory captured the grizzly images of a 7-year-old boy feeding 13 rare reptiles to a crocodile. The killed reptiles were a turtle, four Western blue-tongued lizards, two bearded dragons, two thorny devil lizards and a 20-year-old Goanna.

The boy reportedly had smiled while he did this damage and bludgeoned to death some of the reptiles. He killed the 13 reptiles in about 30 minutes and as a final act wanted to climb over the security fence into the enclosure of “Terry”, the 11-foot (3.3m) saltwater crocodile.

The boy had attacked the zoo on a Wednesday morning by jumping over the security fence and evaded the sensor alarms. He killed some of the reptiles before throwing them over the crocodile enclosure.

OK.... 7 years old and he breaks into a zoo, kills 13 animals, feeds them to another zoo animal. An the stopped him before he feed himself to the crocodile... WHY? This kid has a serious mental problem to beat animals to death at 7! 7!! Where the hell were his parents? How did he even get to the stupid zoo?

Neindorf said he was now looking at suing the parents of the pint-sized terror,
who could easily have been taken by Terry himself as he fed the croc from a
small landing at his enclosure.
"We'll be looking at suing the parents, who were supposedly in control of him at the time," he said.

Supposedly? Talk about failure of parenting on the most basic of levels. My brain hurts now...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Word Challenge!

The $10 word of the week is counterfeit! Your challenge is to use it in a phrase that doesn't involve money! Go!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Freak Magnet

OK... for those who don't know me. I am a downtown freak magnet. I don't know why, but they all want to talk to me. Much to my dismay...

In the past, I had a guy, in the dead of winter at the South Hills Junction, ask me if i wanted to go home with him and "drink some booze." When I lived in crafton heights, in front for Gateway center 2 (where EVERYONE waits for buses) there was a guy asking in his distinctive Yinzer accent, for $75 cash to go back "home to atlanta" cause the girl he was with broke up with him after he moved up here. Yeah right dumbass, work on your southern accent... Once on my way to the bus stop to go home, a man approached me with a bunch of roses in his hand and told me that I was "too pretty" and I needed a rose. Except he needed $5 for the rose. I don't think so....

I have tried several methods of deterring these wierdos.... Looking unpleasant, faking turrets syndrome, faking a cell phone conversation, plain out ignoring the weirdo. Right now the preferred method is drowning them out. My Creative Zen Microphoto can get down right LOUD. So, usually, I blast it. People with in 3 feet of me know that I am listening to: Evanescence, 3 days grace, daughtry, linkin park.... You get the point. Its loud.

Today while trying to save my battery for the bus ride, i was reminded that I am a freak magnet. I was walking down the alley past my favorite humorous church. Its 5. There is literally 30 other people in this alley heading for a bus stop like me. Suddenly an older man jumps off the sidewalk and yells at me.

"I know you must be religious! Why do they have the church covered?"


Shocked, I said "I don't know why the church is covered." I walked away very fast. And i don't know. Its got this black netting all over it but I have no idea why. But to proclaim I "must be religious"?? Why must I be? What if I wasn't? I don't wear a blinking sign that says whether or not I believe in god or not. Why me? Why not jump out at the 30 other people walking by??? What made him think I had the answer?? Who the hell is this guy to badger me about the church anyway? Go inside and ask THE CHURCH!! I am pretty sure I'm going to hell for making fun of the church and all my cursing anyway...


I'm making sure that player is charged.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Things That Piss Me Off: Ignorant Parents

So, tonight My mom, sister and I, along with my daughter went out. We went to Olive Garden where I am pleased to say that I am sure the server read The Burgh Baby post 7 things all servers should know. She was an awesome server with my 20 month old time bomb.

Afterward we took Julia to South Hills Village Mall to play in that kid thing that they have by Macy's. I'll be the first to say sometimes Julia is bad. That's just how little kids are. But despite no nap, she was behaving. Until the stupid parents showed up. They brought their kid. AND her F%$#ing toys. To place where there is plenty of stuff to play on and little kids everywhere. It was a stroller and a baby. They should have NEVER brought those toys in there.

Julia was not the first kid to grab it an push it around. Nor was she the second. But she LOVES strollers and baby dolls. And she was the youngest 1 to see it and go for it. At 20 months she still thinks its community property if its in her view. And she saw some other girl pushing it and snapped it up as soon as it was let go of by that girl.

And then I had to be the f%$#in bad guy. That pisses me OFF. I had to tell her no it wasn't hers. Yet another little girl ran off with the damn thing. 10 min later Julia had it again when it was abandoned by a 4th girl. I had to *chase* her to get it. Into the mall. Twice. Only to have to take it off her again. Finally, the girl the who own it had it. But Julia had a melt down. She sobbed, threw herself on the ground, and then when i picked her up to try to calm her, She screamed as loud as she could 3 times while crying.

I did what I could. I took her took her to grandma and she held Julia a few minutes until dumb and dumber left with their kid, the stroller and baby doll. We showed Julia the slide and all was well again. Thank god.

The couple sitting close by said they hated when people brought toys because there was always a problem with little ones too young to understand. I agree.
Leave the toys in the freaking car!!
Cause I hate making my kid cry over something like that. Bitches.

now I am off to a pumpkin festival this weekend :-)

Friday, September 26, 2008

Bathroom Accomplished!

The Bathroom is done. I was just too lazy to post these sooner....

This pic shows my shower curtain. It has the wall color and the tile color in the stripes.

TA DA :-)

One Word!

Hmmm... I guess the $10 word was too hard this week!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Why i love this church.

Nothing sums it up better what it feels like to take customer service calls during a full moon. After being stuck on a call for over an hour- 45 minutes past the end of my day, causing me to miss 2 possible buses- repeating instructions that are being ignored, this is exactly what i feel. Lucky for me, bus number 3 was late.

The worst people to talk to are the ones who *think* they know what they are doing- but actually are SO dumb you wonder how they remember to breathe. And to top it off- i have to work tomorrow. I need a drink!

Wanted: someone to pick up change....

So the other day at work, I found this jewel of an article...

On the website there is an article about a tractor trailer accident. A truck carrying about 3.7 million nickels from the US Mint in Philly (aka the treasury dept), wrecked. $185,000 worth of nickels spilled on the highway. Since the truck hadn't reached the federal reserve in Miami, the coins are still property of the US Mint. So the treasury dept had to send people to pick up all those coins. 3.7 million. nickels. on the ground.

Would that so totally suck to pull coin duty??!!
"yeah, Wilson! I need you to go down I95 and pick up some nickels off the highway."

My favorite quote from the article is this:

Asked earlier how long the southbound lanes of the interstate would be closed, Miller said: “We don’t know. We’ve never picked up $185,000 worth of nickels before.”


Here is the latest update: $185,000 crash kills one on I-95

SCOTTSMOOR -- Federal authorities spent much of Wednesday clearing 3.7 million nickels off a stretch of Interstate 95 in northern Brevard County after an early morning fatal wreck.

NOW- for the record, its sad someone died in this wreck. I am seriously not happy about that at all. I am just amused that some poor employees got stuck picking up all those stupid nickels.

Workers used blowers to move the nickels off the roadway to reopen the highway
to traffic, while Treasury employees had the responsibility of re-packing the
more than 3 million loose coins, which were transported in canvas bags

I think I would quit my job.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

So close!!!

All the tile is glued!

And the grout is 99% done. It needs some touch ups and to dry. At least I have use of the rest of the bathroom now. YAY!

The new faucet needs put on, the bathroom needs scrubbed, and the stuff put back in the bathroom.... soon soon :-)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Progress... Finally.

Progress on the bath room. Finally.

But damnit. It is still not done.

But there is progress! Its mostly tiled...

Still no plumbing yet.

Maybe sunday. plumbing and grouting.... hoping...

Now, I know your looking at the color of the wall and the tiles an saying "this don't match." It does though. I have a striped shower curtain that has all 3 colors and ties it all together.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Homeownership can suck!

So, this is part my vacation. A broken up bathroom.

We discovered that previous owners did a terrible job fixing the first time. The back wall was soaked and later we found out the faucets were leaking too, which led to this pic... cause that wall had to be taken out partially too.

I thank god, I got the house with 2 full baths. I just hope its fixed before i return to work.

In other news, I took my 20 month old daughter AKA "the terrorist", to the childrens museum for the first time today. She loved it. She was so well behaved that i told her many times how pround of her i was.

Her favorite things were the big spinning discs with sand. She would stand there an watch me spin them, the sand fall and put her fingers in it. It was awesome. I have have video too. I am just too tired to upload it....

Saturday, September 6, 2008


Well, I have slacked. I have good reasons.

No funny stuff from the church i walk by, nothing to seriously piss me off and cause a rant. At least nothing I can post here and not jeopardize my job. Exhaustion from my kid and fighting off sickness...

I started my vacation today. So i have high hopes for this next week. :-)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Stupid Hall of Fame

Stupid Hall of Fame is supposed to amuse. Today it makes me very mad. So, i rant...

There is an Article in the Tribune Review about a terrible fire that ruined 2 businesses and left 6 people with nothing just up the strett from where I live. Here is the line that pisses me off.

A woman living there was frying a chicken, he said. She fled the apartment and
did not call the fire department, Lewis said.

Here is a video so you can see the damage that Stupid has done.

A fire started while cooking and She RAN AWAY??!! Are you kidding? Hell YES she should be charged. What if someone DIED in that fire??!! HUH? How damn hard is it to call 911!? There is a freaking 24 hour CoGo's across the street, she could have ran over there and had them call the fire department. Even better, the fire department is a Freaking BLOCK away!!!

How would she face the families if her STUPID had killed someone? She- who ever she is- is a waste of space and air on this earth. That's soley my opinion. 6 people with no home. 2 businesses ruined.

This is just further proof that humanity is living above the rules of nature now. Survival of the fittest no longer applies to us.

I hate this kind of stupid.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Classic "love this church" moment

This is a classic "love this church" pic. It was the first one I took and it has gone on to inspire me to blog...

"So tell me.... Was Circumference the $10.00 word of the week??? A horizon is straight. A Circumference is round.... hmmm"

Monday, August 18, 2008

Not a Rant... :-)

I took Julia to PPG plaza this afternoon to play in the awesome dancing fountains there. At first she was scared and wouldn't go near it. I coaxed her several times to splash. The suddenly a light bulb went on in her head... She had a blast, giggling, splashing, running thru the water, stepping on the water spouts, getting all wet....

After the 2:30 demonstration was over, she ran around the plaza hollering to hear her voice echo, ran off with a nice lady's small bag of chips and ate them. (I offered the nice lady money for the chips but she refused) She rode on the bus really good, was mostly well-behaved and as a result, we had a lovely, exhausting day. :-) What a great way to spend my day off.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


After working a ridiculous 12 days in a row... I am tired. That's why I haven't posted recently. I am going to take this weekend to relax, sleep, spend time with my 19 month old lovable terrorist and hope my favorite church has something new and funny on Monday for me. :-)

Go outside! enjoy the weekend. :-)

Friday, August 8, 2008

Stupid Hall Of Fame

And for my first inductee... This Grandmother. In the categories of :Things you should never do with a 3 year old and Sometimes you should just say NO.
Authorities say a grandmother was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a Marathon grocery store with her 3-year-old child sitting on the roof of the car.

.....She says she was driving at "snail-speed" and holding the child's leg.

Authorities say the woman told police she was giving the child some air and letting her have fun.

I can't even make this stuff up.

Things that make you go: HMMMM?

I found this little tibit in an article on Rueters today complaining about bad spelling and how difficult the English language is. It was the quote at the end that really got my interest:

some of Britain's greatest wordsmiths have acknowledged it's a language with irritating quirkiness.

Playwright George Bernard Shaw was fond of pointing out that the word "ghoti" could just as well be pronounced "fish" if you followed common pronunciation: 'gh' as in "tough," 'o' as in "women" and 'ti' as in "nation."

And he was a playright.

And I thought to myself.... Hmmm. That is extremely interesting. And a word to the British college students who inspired the article... Its called SPELL CHECK. Use it.

What the...??!!

Exactly how is this guy driving? Yes. His elbow is resting on his knee. An his foot is on the door!

Downtown never ceases to amaze me.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Odd Words bonus round

''For the $25000 bonus round- use the words "cactus" and "taco" in a 4 word phrase.''

Wont eating a cactus taco hurt?
Why would that be from heaven? I love this church. They are hilarious!!!

Church Thoughts of the week

I love the Smithfield street Church, I walk past it everyday. I swear someone there has a sense of humor. This was a recent "Thought of the week" as I call them.

An I said to God, "Well um, actually, the officer called it indecent exposure..." haaaa!

I know.... I am going to hell. But its still funny.

Things that Piss me off: Immature People

I am personally tired of those who think they are adults but really don't know shit about life. I am tired of people thinking because I am a female that they have the right to talk down to me. Heaven forbid if I respond back in kind. Then I am a bitch. You can dish it out but not take it? Well you know what? F*&$ you.

I am not hard to get along with. Don't waste my time. Don't treat me like i am your servant. DON'T talk down to me. And for the love of God, DO NOT disrepect me when I go out of my way to help. I will "be" alot of things, but your personal door mat is not one of them. Ever.

My husband doesn't talk to me that way, and I sure as hell won't let stand for it from anyone else. Period. If this makes me a bitch... So be it, cause I don't f&*$ing care.

Things that Piss me off: Good Samaritan Hackers

I will start this edition of Things that piss me off, with a rant about people who forgot they scheduled their bills to be paid at all, or scheduled the payment 2 times.

Good Samaritan Hackers Don't Exist!!

I mean it. They. Don't. Exist. Who hacks into someone's bank account and pays their damn bills? WHO!? Why do customers call and insist "I didn't pay my bill, someone else must have..." I want to say so bad.. "Listen! If someone is gonna get in to your bank account, *why* on earth would they pay your bills for you? How the hell would they know how much your damn bills are?"


The bank did not do it either. We. Can't! Why would we pay your bills and how would we know the right amounts? Think about it for goodness sake!! It is not a conspiracy to get overdraft fees out of you.. We don't have that kind of time on our hands, to sit and think of way to pick on you in particular.

You can't convince me this is a bank error and your not getting your fees back. Being stupid is expensive sometimes. That is the only way you learn to read the screen, since it showed you that you already paid the damn bills once.

When we have a record of you calling in to ask for help on how to pay a bill, don't call a month later complaining that your $1400 loan is paid off. First: It took you a WHOLE MONTH to notice $1400 was missing from your account? Must be nice... Of course being that unobservant could be why you owed $1400 on your overdraft line in the first place! Second: You called in for a payoff! Who else would call in to pay your loan? Tell me! The bank would not do that cause we are losing money if your loan is paid off.


I think that maybe you need to drink a little less. Stop calling at 3am for loan payoffs. Quit being a moron.

The moral? Hackers don't break in to your checking accounts to do you favors and pay your bills.
End of story.

Things that piss me off :Call Center Jeopardy Rant

I will start this edition of Things that piss me off, with a game called Call Center Jeopardy.

We, who toil away in a drab, horribly carpeted cubes all day, should be allowed to play this game. This is a shout out to listening skills... callers have no damn listening skills. They are talking to someone, checking their email, eating a snack and talking to you all at the same time. Some are even in the bathroom. (YES! I heard you flush!!)

And you are repeating yourself cause they aren't paying attention. Hello!! You called me! I am happy you *think* can multitask, but if i catch you driving, eating and talking on the phone at the same time, I am getting the hell away from you on the road! How about limiting it to.... I don't know... TWO things at once instead of FIVE. Cause your not good at it! Oh and could you possibly wait until your break to call? I am tired of the "hold on, I'll be right back callers." They call in and because they are working a front desk somewhere... put you hold 50 times during the call, and then don't listen to you cause they are doing 3 other things too... So, then you have to repeat yourself. Again.... Back to my new game I wish I could play... Alas... Its only a fantasy.

OK, so everyone knows how Jeopardy works... Alex reads a clue, contestants phrase their response in the form of a question. They can buzz in at anytime after Alex starts reading to answer, and if they are wrong they lose money. Call center Jeopardy is similar. For example, When I ask a customer a question and they answer before I am finished asking, and the answer is wrong, I should be allowed to Hang Up! Sorry, you lose your turn! When they answer with an obviously wrong answer or with every other piece of information but what i asked for, Sorry, you lose your turn!! CLICK

This is how it works now:

"May I have your account number"
"My phone number is 555-555-5555"
"OK, I can't use that... May I have your Account number please" (I have to repeat myself)
"May I have the Date and amount of your last deposit"
"It was a ATM withdrawal, last weekend for like... I don't know.. $25"(this doesn't match anything on the account)
"I'm sorry, I don't see that, can you give me the date an amount of your last deposit?" (I am repeating myself again)

This is how Call Center Jeopardy would work:

"May I have your account number"
"My phone number is 412-555-5555"
"Sorry, wrong answer! You lose your turn!" (CLICK)
"May I have the Date and amount of your last deposit"
"it was a ATM withdrawal, last weekend for like... I don't know.. $25"(this
doesn't match anything on the account)
"I'm sorry, Your wrong, I didn't ask that. You lose your turn!(CLICK)

Oh how nice that would be... I'll dream of the day... Until then I am doomed to repeat myself and wonder how humanity manages to survive. Until next time.... :-)

Things That Piss me off.... Listening Skills

So I am going to start this edition of what pisses me off with a discussion about reading. Enjoy.

Reading is such a novel concept these days. It seems there is a generation of people in society who can not be bothered to do it. They want you to hold their freaking hand, point it out and then do it for them. This is the punishment of working in customer service tech support. I am just amazed at the low levels of common sense. Bill Engvall would have a field day yelling "Here's your sign!!" to half the people I talk to.

I have evidence of this, really. They are the statements I hear on the phone every day. "OK, it says next, do I click on that?" "If I want to cancel a bill do I click on cancel?" "I forgot my password, can you tell me what it is or do I have to click on forgot password?" "This says the user id has to be all numeric, does that mean it can't be letters? I like my id's to be letters." "It says click here to enroll now... so what do I do?"

Are you *listening* to words coming out of your mouth?!?

Further evidence is no matter how idiot proof we make the site, and clearly spell out what steps come next, I still spend most of my day pointing out what is on the screen, reading it to people. Over the damn phone! Damn it! When I get really frustrated, I make them read the screen to me. READ People! Before you call and bitch for 15 minutes about an answer that's been in front of you the whole time. You spent 5 minutes setting up a transfer, at the end a message displays saying how long it will take, yet I'm here telling you the same information.

The exception to this is older people and people under 22. These two generations read. I have an easier time getting Granny online the first time then getting a lawyer, who is on the site 15 times a day, to click on a simple link to see an image. Which amazes me. I mean Granny bought her first Mac computer yesterday and she follows directions and she's surfing the web, paying bills and helping her friend get online in 10 minutes and yet Robert Idiot Esquire is complaining he doesn't see where it says checks are deducted after they are cashed. I know its there, I see it, but it is apparently 1 inch lower than he can read on the screen, leading to this retarded call. I am reading to him over the damn phone, repeating myself.. Cause he is.... say it with me... Lazy! Or maybe stupid or both.

So do me a favor, before you call customer service to complain, ask your questions to yourself first. Out loud. So that maybe you can not sound like moron when you call in and say "This says I have to create a caption, do i have to do that?"

Keep a look out for next edition of what pisses me off, we will be discussing Listening skills.