Are We Really THIS STUPID?

Today, I opened up the USA Today online at lunch time. While scanning through the articles I saw THIS headline:

Teens at high risk in car surfing

BEFORE you click. READ that again. WHO isn't at risk? The headline almost implies that, I don't know, some adults aren't at risk. Or maybe lower risk? Point is, badly worded headline.

To save your brain from hurting, We will discuss the article here.
It is really, really simple:

RIDING ON THE OUTSIDE OF A 2000-3000 POUND MOVING VEHICLE CAN LEAD TO YOUR DISMEMBERMENT, GOING TO JAIL OR DEATH, KIDS.

These days, honestly? I'm feeling like if you think this is a FANTASTIC idea? Then you DESERVE the consequences. Seriously. This is natures way of removing SOME of the stupid from the gene pool. It has to be done some how these days. 

I never car surfed. I never had the urge to car surf. And good grief, my parents never had to talk to me about car surfing. I had this magical thing called common sense and a concept of "the consequences of my actions."

Parents, BE parents to your children. Our jobs are not to be their friend. It is a hard and thankless job for many years. I would really rather not read shit like16yr olds getting killed because of amazing stupidity.

The Damn Highway "Police"

Ok. So. Everyone who knows me knows that I, more often than not, never drive the speed limit. In the interest of @beaglehq not tracking my ass down and writing me tickets... I'm not saying how fast I drive. LOL.

What drives this post (see that? Made a pun Hahahaha) today is a new thing I have noticed on the highways recently. It's become very very aggravating. I call them "speed police." These are people who see you rolling up the highway doing *cough* mph and decide your going too fast. So, what they do is shoot out in to the passing lane and refuse to move back or pick up the effing pace. In some cases, I have seen them slow to below the speed limit or matching speeds with a car in the right lane so that everyone is stuck behind them. Thus causing a traffic jam on the damn highway at rush hour when we are all in a damn hurry. I always end up stuck behind 3-4 cars who are being held up by someone who woke up on the Jagoff side of the bed.

We are in a hurry for a REASON.
It's called the wexford exit of agony construction.

So please, "speed police," stop being assholes. We weren't bothering you in the slow lane. We weren't tailgating anyone. We are just trying to get to work for goodness sake.
If some of us want to drive *cough*, then that is on us if we get a ticket.
Don't glare with anger at the people who decided to pass you on the right side because you refused to get in the NON-passing lane. They followed you for a couple miles while you did [much slower speed] intentionally. You put everyone in foul moods because we know its gonna be at least 15-20 minutes just to get thru that small work zone.

Also when getting on 79 from 228 there is almost NO EXCUSE to not be doing 65 (the speed limit there) at the end of the 4 mile long on ramp.  Jez!!! I have almost been nailed by people while trying to merge because they are not even CLOSE to the highway speeds at the end of the ramp. Or they slam on their brakes just as they merge.

WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS SO LONG???
So that you can MERGE with traffic. Not so you can attempt to cause a pile up there.

Stop being rude. Stop almost causing accidents. Please. (See that? I was nice and said please.)

Ps. I hate 4square. I loathe 4square day and how it blew up my Twitter feed with over 100 of that same damn mother effing post in the span of a couple hours.  Please, my dear Twitter friends.... I love you. But you guys are killing me here. Does it really need to be posted to Twitter that you unlocked 4sq day???? 100 times?

This is why fakesquare is returning with my own brand of twistedness.

Pps. Get glue? You are cruising to end up on my shit list too. But your not there yet.

A Bunch of Random...

So first up... The List

I am pretty sure with the exception of Twitter (and Friends) Karaoke... nothing else is getting checked off before next year..... So, Haunted House? Done. Karaoke? NEXT WEEKEND!!! WOOO. Anyway.
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How can you go insane in under 20 minutes? {mom blogging}

Julia: What is this street's name?
Me: Pioneer.
Julia: Why is that its name?
Me: Cause it is.
Julia: Why?
Me: *brain explodes*

Julia: Why is there 2 green lights?
Me: Seriously? I don't know
Julia: Cause they put them up there.
Me: *brain explodes*

Julia: Where is Greentree Road mommy?
Me: What?
Julia Greentree road.
Me: Its the other direction.
Julia: Are we gonna go on it?
Me: No. We are going this way to grandmas
Julia: Why?
Me: Because This way is faster.
Julia: Why?
Me: *brain explodes*

Julia: Look mommy that police car matches our car
Me: [believe me] I know
Julia: Why is it a different color?
Me: Because police cars are different since they are the police [cut me some slack, my brain was hurting at this point]
Julia: Why does it have those lights in the window? Why we don't have those lights? Where are our lights? You NEED those lights mommy. Mommy how are you gonna get those more lights? Mommy one of the police lights is broke [burned out break light]. Where are all the other cars? Where did they go? Are they hiding from us?.....

Kid 1 - Mom 0 {/end mom blogging}
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Dear Steelers and Penguins

Srsly?? Seriously? You all need to get your acts together. NOW. There is only ONE loser sports team in the city and that is the Pirates. Do me a favor.... KNOCK IT OFF.
love, me

Stupid Hall of Fame: Moron Edition

***Now I know there are some dire happenings in Haiti right now. You can head over to That's Church for those updates on current efforts. I am just here to provide some amusement and escape from all seriousness***

I know all 47 of my fans have missed Stupid Hall Of Fame updates... So, I have a good one for you today.

From the PG
Hairdresser sentenced for shooting dissatisfied customer

Now normally, if you don't like your hair, you get it re cut, or a refund... but apparently something went horribly wrong here. The most important part of this story is the defense.

A Washington County hairstylist who claims she didn't know a .38-caliber handgun was a "deadly weapon" will spend five to 20 years in prison for shooting a dissatisfied client in the lower back.
Ms. Reed says she fired two shots because the Ms. Newton sisters jumped her and didn't realize "a .38-caliber could be considered a deadly weapon."

WHAT!! You SHOT a person. With a GUN. With REAL bullets. What the F*&% did you think was going to happen!!?? Who let this bitch buy a gun and convince her it was a f*&%ing Nerf gun that shot sunshine???
Nobody.
Cause at the end of the article, she proves to everyone that she isn't that dumb by saying this:

Ms. Reed told the judge who sentenced her yesterday, "That .38-caliber didn't even take her down."

Really? That is relevant how? You still shot her you idiot. So, to be clear everyone:: You can KILL people with guns that shoot REAL bullets. They are DEADLY WEAPONS.
OK?
Good.

From MSNBC, (whom I have missed using for countless stupid hall of fame posts since I started working these crazy ass hours.)

Woman charged in McDonald’s rampage
She’s accused of trashing the restaurant because of a burger problem

In the video, which has been viewed hundreds of thousands of times online, a customer is seen throwing a sign and a water dispenser over a counter and pushing three cash registers to the floor.

OK. OK. I know this seems TOTALLY insane, but how about nicely ASKING for them to remake it the right way?? I know this shit works. But maybe I am the crazy one.... Second, maybe its a BAD idea to wreak the restaurant with a CAMERA aimed right at you!

On Tuesday, the Jackson County prosecutor's office charged 19-year-old Alesha McMullen of Kansas City with Class D felony property damage. Police say McMullen told officers her order was prepared wrong and the restaurant refused to give her a refund.

So, you trashed the McDonald's over about $5? Really? That angry, that you will now spend HUNDREDS in fines, court costs, a lawyer and restitution? You have a PROBLEM then. You need some damn Prozac or anger management or something to CALM your ass down. SRSLY.

And not to be outdone, Here comes the winner for Worst Parent of the Month:

Police: Conn. mom left kids in car while tanning

I didn't even read the story before I said "WHAT THE F*&% is wrong with that bitch!?" Connecticut in January?? Clearly the tanning bed burnt ALL her brain cells away.

ENFIELD, Conn. - Police in Connecticut say 28-year-old mother (Candy Ann Rock) is charged with leaving her two young children in her car in freezing temperatures while she went tanning in a salon.
Enfield Police Chief Carl Sferrazza told the Journal Inquirer that Rock left her two children — ages 3 and just under 1 year — in the parked car, which was not running, for 18 minutes during her tanning session at about 9 a.m. Monday. He said weather reports showed the wind chill was 19 degrees at the time.

Thank GOODNESS the kids were OK. But OMFG! Really? 19 degrees and you thought it was OK to just leave them in there?? Really? SRSLY? I think my brain might explode. I want to punch her in the head for leaving a BABY and Toddler ALONE, in the car, EVER. At 28, she should be smarter than a rock. I swear I hope they take those kids away. Or she drowns in a puddle tanning lotion.

Yes, her name is Candy Rock. Awesome.

Random Shit

First on the list:
I have up and moved AGAIN at work. I am no longer on cast away island, surrounded by a sea of empty cubes and sometimes, darkness when a light burns out. I have now been promoted to sitting with the "cool kids" aka a daylight shift team.
I miss my old team. But I rarely saw them since they were all night and late afternoon shift.
Apparently my new seat is in the vortex of 2 AC vents. It is FREEZING at my desk. ALL the time. I have a blanket and a jacket on. It's 80 outside! So, it either needs to get hotter outside, or they need to turn the AC down a bit. I imagine I'll be using my blanket all the time. The other down side to sitting with people during the day is that when I talk to myself, they look at me funny. HEY- I was alone over on the island, cut me some slack. lol

2nd... Here is my "DUH?!" Headline of the day From MSNBC:

Stub your toe? Say ‘Sh#!’ You’ll feel better
Shouting swear words has a powerful pain-killing effect, study shows

I could have told you that! I used to be the curse queen, I still am to some extent- with a 2 year old i have to be more inventive. (Fraktard, anyone?)

Here is a quote from the article that I did find interesting:

The researchers originally thought that swearing would make pain worse by focusing a person’s attention on the injury and its implications. To prove their hypothesis, they set up an experiment with 67 college students.

The students were asked to plunge their hands into frigid 41-degree Fahrenheit water for as long as they could stand the pain. Half were told to repeat their favorite curse word while their hands were submerged. The other half were asked to repeat a neutral word describing a table, such as solid or brown, while keeping their hands under water. Then the whole experiment was repeated with the two groups switching types of word. (Favorite swear words were, as you might guess, the ones starting with "F" and "S." But since the subjects were British, the researchers also got an earful of "bollocks.")

To the researchers’ surprise, the cursing group not only reported lower levels of pain, but also were able to keep their hands in the icy water longer. The men in the study, for example, were able to keep their hands in the water for an average of 190 seconds while swearing, but for only 140 seconds when uttering a neutral word.

The difference was even more pronounced in women. While men’s pain scores dropped by a point when they cussed, the women’s dropped by almost two full points.

And a story that I think foreclosed home buyers should read:

‘Meth lab home problem’ sickens new owners
Houses with a criminal past are causing serious illnesses and financial ruin

WINCHESTER, Tenn. - The spacious home where the newly wed Rhonda and Jason Holt began their family in 2005 was plagued by mysterious illnesses. The Holts’ three babies were ghostlike and listless, with breathing problems that called for respirators, repeated trips to the emergency room and, for the middle child, Anna, the heaviest dose of steroids a toddler can take.

Ms. Holt, a nurse, developed migraines. She and her husband, a factory worker, had kidney ailments.

It was not until February, more than five years after they moved in, that the couple discovered the root of their troubles: their house, across the road from a cornfield in this town some 70 miles south of Nashville, was contaminated with high levels of methamphetamine left by the previous occupant, who had been dragged from the attic by the police.

My only question is why it took 5 years to figure out it was the house. Don't these people watch TV? One of the first things House M.D. does, is send his people to check the living areas for environmental causes.... sheesh.

Public Service Announcment

Every couple months I try to do what I call a public service announcement. Its a friendly and hopefully informative reminder to those online that what you see is not always what you get.

From MSNBC Red Tape Chronicles:
Red Tape: Why phishers love Facebook

Didn’t you know? Facebook is forever ‘Forgot your password?’ may be weakest linkFacebook ID theft targets 'friends'


And jez, From "Sometimes you should put the damn phone DOWN" files:

Holy Twitter! Tweeting from the pews

From Pc World:Facebook Updates: What Kind Do You Write?

These articles are some of the reasons why I don't do quizzes, "500 things about me you wish you still didn't know" notes or add just ANY application sent to me by another user. I am an equal opportunity ignorer (yes, I made that word up). I don't care about who the sender is at all. I promise. :-) I never did live journal or blog about deeply personal matters. I just like to keep some things... private.

I am online. I have been for years with various pages going back to Lycos and Tripod (remember them? then your old too hahaha). However, unlike some people out there, I don't reveal *every* single thing about my life. I don't find it that important to post a facebook status saying "I have to pee." "I have cramps" or other nonsense like this. (you know who you are Miss T.M.I.) I will unfollow you on twitter if there is nothing interesting said other than something like: "woke up. went to work" all the time. Don't be offended. I am trying to keep my twitter flow uncluttered.

I try to make posting worth while or interesting on facebook, twitter or this blog. I'm satisfied that maybe 30 people read my blog cause this is all for fun. And this is my place to say all the shit I want when I need to rant. So, if this post helps just 1 reader not fall victim to these dirtbags, then it is worth it.

Now back to your regularly scheduled ranting.