Monday, April 18, 2011

The Damn Highway "Police"

Ok. So. Everyone who knows me knows that I, more often than not, never drive the speed limit. In the interest of @beaglehq not tracking my ass down and writing me tickets... I'm not saying how fast I drive. LOL.

What drives this post (see that? Made a pun Hahahaha) today is a new thing I have noticed on the highways recently. It's become very very aggravating. I call them "speed police." These are people who see you rolling up the highway doing *cough* mph and decide your going too fast. So, what they do is shoot out in to the passing lane and refuse to move back or pick up the effing pace. In some cases, I have seen them slow to below the speed limit or matching speeds with a car in the right lane so that everyone is stuck behind them. Thus causing a traffic jam on the damn highway at rush hour when we are all in a damn hurry. I always end up stuck behind 3-4 cars who are being held up by someone who woke up on the Jagoff side of the bed.

We are in a hurry for a REASON.
It's called the wexford exit of agony construction.

So please, "speed police," stop being assholes. We weren't bothering you in the slow lane. We weren't tailgating anyone. We are just trying to get to work for goodness sake.
If some of us want to drive *cough*, then that is on us if we get a ticket.
Don't glare with anger at the people who decided to pass you on the right side because you refused to get in the NON-passing lane. They followed you for a couple miles while you did [much slower speed] intentionally. You put everyone in foul moods because we know its gonna be at least 15-20 minutes just to get thru that small work zone.

Also when getting on 79 from 228 there is almost NO EXCUSE to not be doing 65 (the speed limit there) at the end of the 4 mile long on ramp.  Jez!!! I have almost been nailed by people while trying to merge because they are not even CLOSE to the highway speeds at the end of the ramp. Or they slam on their brakes just as they merge.

So that you can MERGE with traffic. Not so you can attempt to cause a pile up there.

Stop being rude. Stop almost causing accidents. Please. (See that? I was nice and said please.)

Ps. I hate 4square. I loathe 4square day and how it blew up my Twitter feed with over 100 of that same damn mother effing post in the span of a couple hours.  Please, my dear Twitter friends.... I love you. But you guys are killing me here. Does it really need to be posted to Twitter that you unlocked 4sq day???? 100 times?

This is why fakesquare is returning with my own brand of twistedness.

Pps. Get glue? You are cruising to end up on my shit list too. But your not there yet.


  1. What you call "Speed Police", I call "Good Citizens" (with as much sarcasm as I can pack into two words.) I hate'em. I usually get them on 2-lane roads where you can't get by. Doing the slow-moving roadblock on a highway is major dickery indeed. Times like that I wish for a hood-mounted water cannon.

  2. I get so damn pissed. Especially when they drive extra slow... Then run red lights or stop signs. I wanna shoot more than a water cannon at them . LOL