#TheGrave

Before I start, I would to say that the way I use really long hashtags has evolved after seeing how @sheepthemoon starting doing it. Capitalizing the first letter of the word makes it so much easier to read.

On to the story.

A couple weeks ago I got to help celebrate @chilla's birthday weekend with @mindbling, @cc_0920 and @wildthang412. Our venue of choice?? The Linden Grove on RT 88 in the south hills.

I can't take credit for the tag. That was all @cc_0920's doing after the first time she was there.

To start off the night in true Angie fashion, I was late because I got food on myself. This required me to run to Walmart and buy a clean shirt. At ten pm on a Saturday night. That my friends? #scary
Once I make it back, I spend 20 min looking for parking. Apparently, that is THE PLACE TO BE in the south hills. It's been about 12-13 yrs since I was last in the grove. I will say the front entrance has seen better days.
The "bouncer" cards me. And for a moment I'm not sure he is gonna let me in. Really? Really. This has become a new trend. I know people say I don't look 34. But I know I don't look under 21. This happened in cranberry once, when I wanted to purchase a small bottle of wine. The cashier studied my id to the point that I was sure he was gonna make me leave with out it. But I digress.

When I step inside the main area, it is like meeting 1995 while 1995 was tripping on acid. The music is loud. The place is *packed* with the wildest assortment of people I have ever seen crammed in to a dance club. The music was fast, slow, older and some newer. Everyone could find something to dance to there.
There were barely 21, faux Bohemian chicks (aka the dance floor drink police) all the way up to 85 yr old grannies. Frat boys and old men. Cougars and cowboys. I saw suits, dresses, jeans, animal prints on people who should never ever wear animal print and just plain old fashion fail.
Turns out. I could have worn the swimsuit top I bought that day instead of buying a clean shirt. Nobody would have noticed. LOL. It took me a bit to find my friends in the massive crowd. I am pretty sure an older man grabbed my ass. It took forever just to get a drink too. The place was packed. It was also hot as Hell in there.

I have decided that every organized dance is just a rip off of the OG, the electric slide. It stalks me and haunts me every place I go for music and dancing. At least this place? Warns you. So you can run to the bar for a drink while everybody rushes to the dance floor.

I could spend all afternoon talking about it. Honestly, you have to experience it.
I hope to see you next time I set foot in #TheGrave.

Strange (and scary) Sightings.... Random Edition

Resurrecting the Strange Sighting tag on the blog tonight... woo!!! lol 
I have a few things to show you tonight.... The first up::

Hideous Dress Courtesy Of Scarehouse Scott (pictured with said dress) He is the Creative Director of Scarehouse... and I would love to know where he found this....

Scott and the freaky bunny next to him enjoyed tormenting Burghbaby with that dress Ryan Secrest Style. Even though she eventually put it on. (Your welcome for me not posting the pic with you **in** the dress standing next to him. I have a few of those.... but they are too scary to post here lol...)

The dress?? **shudder**

From reader Beth:

I don't want to ask. I really can't imagine how desperate you are to work to BE IN this musical. Do you think the company who made this sign for the bus giggled the whole time??? Do you think the drivers were all: "I'm not driving the Menopause bus!! You drive it." Is there a union rule that says you don't have to drive the Menopause bus if you worked at PAT for at least 10 years???

Also from Beth:

As you see.... Proof that sometimes... the smart kids have WAY WAY too much time on their hands.... And no girlfriend....

And Finally.. All I'm gonna say is that they were doing their hairz out there the other night with hair dryers and curling irons.

Yes. Its a floor lamp. Yes, there are car cleaning products on the porch wall.... Yes, they started painting and then stopped. No. I am definitely  NOT gonna ask.

Pittsburgh SnOMG!!!!

The links below are to the same pics, but if you prefer one over the other, I put both up. The Picasa site doesn't have all the captions though... I'll work on it. Right after it *doesn't* snow 6 more damn inches on Tuesday. I literally don't have any place else to put snow. The piles in my yard are nearly 5 1/2 foot high now. I'm afraid to throw my kid in the yard... I may lose her. (lol)


Public Facebook link:
SnOMG Feb 2010 Pictures

Picasa Link:
SnOMG Feb 2010 Pictures

Its the 4th worst storm in Pittsburgh history.
21.1 inches at Pittsburgh International. (which was closed for like 24 hrs. That NEVER happens)
20 inches in my yard.


Next 24 hours 'important' in city's efforts to clear streets

With nearly three decades of snow removal experience, Mr. Kaczorowski said this is the worst snow he has had to battle.

"This is the worst," he said after 36 hours on duty. "This is worse than '93."

This weekend's snowfall of 21.1 inches was, according to the National Weather Service, the fourth highest accumulation in Pittsburgh since 1876, when the agency began keeping records. The third biggest snowfall, with 25.3 inches, was March 12-14, 1993.

The difference between the 1993 blizzard and this one? This snowfall was wet and heavy, '93 was a dry snow. I hate this shit. It broke our shovel. It was a bitch to clear.
And there is more coming.
*headesk*

Idiot Adventures In Parking

I was at Sam's club the other day when I saw parking retardness at its best. (Yes, I made that word up, it's my blog.)

This is how *this* Handicapped space should be used:

This is How NOT to use it:
The Buick on the right there with the door open? It was halfway out into the aisle. You could NOT drive around it. Realistically, there was plenty of room either side of the stupid Cavalier for that moron to park and not BLOCK the f&%$ing road. That's a van accessible space. It's f&%$ing HUGE.

And to the driver of the Cavalier- HELLO if you couldn't see the f&%$ing lines then you shouldn't be driving. At least have enough brains to re-park your car when you realized just how bad you f&%$ed up that parking job.

Then I spotted this gem of an idiot on the way out of Sam's Club:

Right outside the exit door. There is a HUGE BAY on the right of this picture where this moron could have parked, instead of 10 feet from the exit where I almost walking into your f&%$ing car. If you needed and handicapped spot:

SEE PLENTY OF SPOTS- just in the aisle we were parked in. And, as you can see the bay was empty too. I hate bad drivers. I hate idiot drivers. And finally, proof that they are everywhere and come in all ages:
This idiot was half on the regular driveway and half on the gravel extension. And he almost fell while getting out of his car.

Moron.

A Piggy Colony

Sorry, I can't figure out how to rotate this stupid image from where I am. I didn't think my post made it to blogger last night.

This is a colony of Piggies that I found at the Rite Aid down the street from my house a couple weeks ago. I actually forgot the pic was in my phone until last night. I bought an extra one and tucked it in my drawer. Insurance. I don't want another Piggy incident. EVER.

Love This Church!

I think the church is on to me. I think they are following the blog.... Look at the Message this week:

Oh but I do! I totally mock *everything* when possible. I am a non conformist at heart. I don't fell right unless I am mocking something! It will surely send me to hell, but oh well. So, is this a case of the church watching me? Hmmm? Am I paranoid now too?

Is this referring to Jesus, God, the church or a combination of all of the above? If there is a Master... I will mock them. I promise! :-)

.

Love This Church!

So, the title for this weeks sermon:

This inspired me to ask:

Ok... So, someone tell me, when is it? When does Jesus get pms and be all like "F you! I don't care!" I might have to attend this to find out. This seems like it would be really important information to have, right? I don't want to bother Jesus when he is in a don't care kind of mood, ya know. I don't want to be praying for something and its when he is in a bitchy ass moment and saw, "You know what, "I don't care if your in a burning house and your praying to get out"

And really... Is it like "No, I don't care about you praying for those stupid prada shoes" or is it "damn it, I am tired of you praying about everything under the sun! I don't CARE!"

Do you think he is like "oh Angie? No, i don't care if she makes fun of a church." (she is going to hell anyway)
I really want to know. Thoughts anyone?

What size are you really?

Dear Ms Thang,

I saw you swaggering through town this morning. You stuck out like a sore thumb because everyone was dressed professionally and you... were not. Your jeans and top are cute. However... Did you actually look in a full length mirror today? I can see your failure of a belly ring. a very green bra, underwear and your tramp stamp. Why? Because although you may have looked *good* wearing that outfit in high school, you have put on a few pounds (like we all do) and need to do just 1 little thing. Buy the next size up. That's it. Buy an 8 instead of a 6. It will do WONDERS for your appearance. You wont look like a hawt mess, but actually, probably hawt. I promise. It will also go a long way towards helping me not go blind. Thanks.

Moral of the letter: just cause you can get it on, and button/zip it, doesn't mean you should.

WHO is following me???

I found this gem in my inbox tonight. I am f&%$ing speechless.

Hi, Angela Hartzell.
Pittsburgh Pirates (Pirates_News) is now following your updates on Twitter.
A little information about Pittsburgh Pirates:
9 followers
62 updates
following 11 people

You may follow Pittsburgh Pirates as well by clicking on the "follow" button on their profile. You may also block Pittsburgh Pirates if you don't want them to follow you.
The Twitter Team

Your kidding me right? I swear to GOD, I have no clue why they would want to follow me. Maybe I should direct these idiots to the rant I posted about them.

Drive Much?

I have to ask this... I just can't ignore it.

HOW Distracted are you, Mr Bus Driver? To hit a pole head on and not SEE it in that big ass bus of yours? Oh it was 630am. Maybe he was sleeping still....

From the Trib:


The Trib Story:
Several banged up when Port Authority bus hits utility pole

From the PG:
Several hurt in Oakland bus crash

Port Authority spokesman Jim Ritchie says the 77B Penn Hills bus was rounding a bend in North Oakland when the driver lost control and the bus jumped a curb.

OK. If you say so. Stick to that story.


PS Here are more pics from WTAE:

Accident Slide Show

Love this Church!

To ensure I am going right to hell, here is a new edition of Love this Church!

Ok, your task is to use the words "strong" and "banana" in a phrase. Go!




You got me on this one.
I have no idea what the hell that means. I interpret this as "shut the f&%$ up about the rotten food."
Is this opposed to weak silence and fresh bananas?
I don't get it. And apparently I am too tired to come up with something witty to say about it.

A Laptop Miracle Story

As you may or may not know, my dad gave me a gently used laptop a few months ago. (yay me) My old one was... Old. Slow. And the screen was dying, The new (to me) laptop is as fast as my desktop and nicer. My dad fixed the Internet card in it. He said the only thing I needed to buy was a battery. The one in the battery was dead. Like paperweight dead. It would not charge, ever.

This is no big deal. The battery life on the old laptop was so bad, I dragged the power cord around with me anyway. I was used to it. So, I intended on buying a new battery with my income tax. I didn't plan on my washer breaking... So, no battery for me. I'll wait. Since I know the battery is a rock (yes, I tested it myself. It would not take a charge and I took the battery out a couple times. Trust me, it was *dead*), I only plug the laptop in when I am actually using it.

Two days ago, I turned on to download windows updates. When I was done, I turned it off, closed the lid, pulled the plug and went to bed. This morning while i was getting ready for work, I noticed the standby light blinking. "HMMM?" I actually picked up the computer twice to be sure it was *not* plugged in. When I turned it on I discovered that the battery had an 85%charge. It had been in standby for 2 days cause i closed the lid too soon,

That's right 85%. The brick is suddenly no longer a brick.... I am shocked. It has 100% charge now. The laptop is now under it's own power. It's a damn miracle. I have never heard of a laptop battery coming back to life and yet this one has.

Here is proof of life. its a little blurry cause cell phones don't take good pic's of PC screens:

Strange Sightings

I call these pics Parking Failure at its finest.

This was spotted at Sam's Club in West Mifflin this afternoon:


I just HAD to take these pics. I don't care who saw me, beause the driver of this car should be shamed and embarrassed. Despite the *enormous* size of the Handicap parallel space, this car was still 3/4ths of the way out of the spot as if it was pulling out.



I would love to know what made this driver think the car was parked properly. If this is how they park, one can only imagine how badly they drive! This is clearly an epic fail at parking.

What? Are you sure? Pirates what?

NL Central W/L
St. Louis 10-5
Pittsburgh 9-6
Chi. Cubs 8-5
Cincinnati 8-6
Houston 6-9
Milwaukee 5-9

That's right boys and girl. At this moment in time, Pirates are in second place

Ok, I am sure writing about it will jinx it, but i am doing it anyway. To prevent the jinx, I am still gonna make fun of them ok?

From the PG:
LaRoche's four hits bring 7-4 victory, thorough sweep of Florida

"This is fun."
Those three words from veteran reliever John Grabow, perhaps better than any summaries or statistics, illustrate why the Pirates seemed to appreciate so genuinely their 7-4 victory against Florida yesterday at PNC Park, one that brought a three-game sweep.

Really? Are you sure its "fun?" Are you allowed to have "fun" and win at the same time? Cause last time I checked losing pretty much sucked, but Pirates have been losing for like 16 years. So, I bet it is FUN to WIN more games than you LOSE.

It was not so much that the Marlins had come to Pittsburgh with an 11-1 record, best in Major League Baseball, and left town thoroughly defeated.

It was not even that the Pirates had raised their record to 9-6, their first time at three games above .500 since winning the first three of 2007, the latest in any season they have been at this level since May 3, 2002, when they were 15-12, and the best start since 10-5 that same year.

The fact is, that is such a pathetic stat to be so f&%$ing happy about. That just reminds us all of how BAD they have been for so damn long.

"We're for real, man, and we believe," Morgan said. "You know that, right? We're the truth."

Do me a big favor- You are only 3 games over .500, leave the "we're the truth" shit outta this until at least you have a REAL shot at a post season. THEN you can be all "we're the truth." Cause if you start sucking again, Jane Pitt and I are probably gonna have to kick your ass for that comment.

Fashion Stupid

Now, I will be the first to admit I am not on the cutting edge of fashion. I try to stick with what looks good on ME. Skinny Jeans? Nope, I will never wear them. Then I saw this story in the PG and had to make a middle of the night post about it:

Shoulder pads are back as 'strong shoulders'

Just when I was loving Michelle Obama's sweet little J.Crew cardigans, they pull
me back in. Everywhere, it seems, there are rounded shoulders. Sharply squared
shoulders. Linebacker shoulders. Jacobs, a gifted designer who nonetheless
popularized the "grunge" look in 1992 (nobody's perfect), has been sending his
models out onto the catwalk this year in big shoulders and big hair.

Come on Fashion World... You can't do any better than Shoulder Pads?? SRSLY??

Fashion writers are scrambling to explain. Time's Kate Betts says the new,
sharply tailored jackets are about giving women confidence at a time of economic
uncertainty. Oh, and giving women a reason to go shopping again. "Now,
admittedly, this shape is not new to fashion and has been prominent before
(hello, 1980s power suit!), but the most current iteration of the trend conveys
a much more sophisticated and dramatic effect," declare Katherine Power and
Hillary Kerr, two former editors at Elle Magazine who founded WhoWhatWear.com, a Web site that interprets fashion trends.

They then go on to deconstruct the "two different types of the bold-shouldered look" -- the boxy, boyish cut at Marc Jacobs and Stella McCartney and "the sharper, more compact" shapes at Balmain, Balenciaga and Givenchy.

Response from posters, however, is mostly negative:
"Shoulder pads? Looks good on celebrities and models but not on normal people. Not again ..." wrote someone posting as Ave.

I couldn't agree more.

Ok... In my non expert opinion here are 80's styles that should stay DEAD:
Shirt Dresses
Stirups
High-waisted jeans-- Nothing is more unflattering than jeans that go up to your. Who ever brought that back should be shot. I have never heard someone saying "wow those 'mom jeans' are sexy!" Why? Cause they AREN'T.
SHOULDER PADS-- In any form. They are horrendous. Hideous. Look at this pic and honestly tell me that's hot? No f*&%ing way. This isn't 1982. Linebacker shoulders on women are not normal. Not flattering.

WTF is THAT? Hideous. I am afraid it gets worse from here down.

And this chic? She looks freaky. F*&%ing freaky. Like legs with a head.


How is this flattering her? I don't see the appeal AT ALL. She is too skinny and there looks to be no definition between her non-existent torso and legs.

God help me, I'll have to choke a bitch if I even see one wearing this form of mental puke. Who the hell thought this shit up? I understand catwalk fashions are modified for the masses... but the ONLY thing that will make this dress better is to BURN it. Now.

After seeing this, I am convinced that some fashion designers are idiots. Or they are on drugs. Or both.

Love this Church

So the church hasn't been interesting enough for me to take pics. And while I really can't make a lot of fun of this... its still amusing. ( I needed to refresh my going straight to hell status)

Is it too late in the day to do what? I feel like I am missing and important part of the conversation here? Any suggestions from my wonderful group of readers??

Strange Sightings

As promised: Funny pics.

I took this about 3 weeks ago. I was out on 51 south heading home near the Rt 88 junction, and this idiot cut me off. Once he and his 8 friends shoved in this car got in front of me, they began coasting with the passenger partially open. I have no clue why. It was very weird and i think that they saw me take their picture cause a few moments later they stopped doing this.

Love This Church: Special Edition

So, I finally put these up... I have 3 today. That is why it is a Special Edition. :-)
And pretend you didn't notice the time I posted this.




I have a better suggestion. Put in a Doorbell. Maybe Opportunity is lazy, or you left the screen door locked. What about those of us who are not skilled enough to build a door? Can I go to Lowe's and buy one? :-)



Food? What kind of food? Cause if I am coming there on my lunch break, you better have some food cause I'll be hungry! Can we talk about cake? I love cake. Particularly... Spice cake with cream cheese icing. :-)


And I saved the Best for last: Submitted by Jamie-Lynn.



"It says "Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" - Eeyore! An Eeyore quote!!! Loved it. So I figured I'd pass it along!(:~~Jamie-Lynn~~:)"


Jamie-Lynn... I agree. Its hilarious that they quoted a Winnie the Pooh character! I love it!

Random and less bitchy :-)

I am much better today. :-) The rage has passed for the moment... lol.

I am stoked that the Pen's came out and Beat the Ranger's asses!! Way to go guys!
I managed to make it to work with out killing my self. This is an accomplishment. Anyone who knows me, know I fall down. ALOT.
I am also stoked to see the lovely, talented, Hilarious as all hell Pitt Girl posting for a limited time over at http://haveagoodsandwich.org/ If you don't find her funny... your retarded.

Oh--
Road Crews Working To Clear Pittsburgh Streets
Yeah, you guys suck. My road still looks like shit and its a pretty busy street. Epic Fail.

I won't mention how stupid this was:
Police: Latrobe Teen Put M-80 Between Thighs To Muffle Explosion

I'll leave you with this:
Phoenix Mayor Blows Nose In 'Terrible Towel' Then Apologizes

Wow. these dumb asses never learn. Ask Tennessee, Dallas, Cincinnati about dissing the towel. It brings the Curse of Cope.

I'm gonna try to enjoy my day off. Hopefully my kid doesn't have her terrorist mode on

Stupid news

I saw this story... and I just HAD to post it....

Boy, 6, Misses Bus, Steals Family Sedan

First... WHO was in-charge of the 6 year old? Who was supposed to get the kid up, ready for school and out the door. Not MOM apparently:

The boy, whose name wasn't released, missed the bus, took the car keys and drove
nearly six miles on Route 360, about 61 miles east of Richmond, while his mother
was asleep.

Well.... this explains it all:

The boy told police he learned to drive playing Grand Theft Auto and other
video games.

Lovely. 6 year olds are not supposed to be playing GTA for goddness sake. Its an ADULT Game!! I'll give the kid some props though for how close he got:

Police said he made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran
off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and
utility pole about a mile and a half from school.

It ended like this:

Northumberland County Sheriff Chuck Wilkins said 26-year-old Jacqulyn Deana
Waltman is being held without bond. Forty-year-old David Eugene Dodson was
released on a $5,000 bond. The boy and his 4-year-old brother were placed in
protective custody.

I hope they make them take parenting classes. Dumb asses.