Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Fashion Stupid

Now, I will be the first to admit I am not on the cutting edge of fashion. I try to stick with what looks good on ME. Skinny Jeans? Nope, I will never wear them. Then I saw this story in the PG and had to make a middle of the night post about it:

Shoulder pads are back as 'strong shoulders'

Just when I was loving Michelle Obama's sweet little J.Crew cardigans, they pull
me back in. Everywhere, it seems, there are rounded shoulders. Sharply squared
shoulders. Linebacker shoulders. Jacobs, a gifted designer who nonetheless
popularized the "grunge" look in 1992 (nobody's perfect), has been sending his
models out onto the catwalk this year in big shoulders and big hair.

Come on Fashion World... You can't do any better than Shoulder Pads?? SRSLY??

Fashion writers are scrambling to explain. Time's Kate Betts says the new,
sharply tailored jackets are about giving women confidence at a time of economic
uncertainty. Oh, and giving women a reason to go shopping again. "Now,
admittedly, this shape is not new to fashion and has been prominent before
(hello, 1980s power suit!), but the most current iteration of the trend conveys
a much more sophisticated and dramatic effect," declare Katherine Power and
Hillary Kerr, two former editors at Elle Magazine who founded WhoWhatWear.com, a Web site that interprets fashion trends.

They then go on to deconstruct the "two different types of the bold-shouldered look" -- the boxy, boyish cut at Marc Jacobs and Stella McCartney and "the sharper, more compact" shapes at Balmain, Balenciaga and Givenchy.

Response from posters, however, is mostly negative:
"Shoulder pads? Looks good on celebrities and models but not on normal people. Not again ..." wrote someone posting as Ave.

I couldn't agree more.

Ok... In my non expert opinion here are 80's styles that should stay DEAD:
Shirt Dresses

High-waisted jeans-- Nothing is more unflattering than jeans that go up to your. Who ever brought that back should be shot. I have never heard someone saying "wow those 'mom jeans' are sexy!" Why? Cause they AREN'T.

SHOULDER PADS-- In any form. They are horrendous. Hideous. Look at this pic and honestly tell me that's hot? No f*&%ing way. This isn't 1982. Linebacker shoulders on women are not normal. Not flattering.

WTF is THAT? Hideous. I am afraid it gets worse from here down.

And this chic? She looks freaky. F*&%ing freaky. Like legs with a head.

How is this flattering her? I don't see the appeal AT ALL. She is too skinny and there looks to be no definition between her non-existent torso and legs.

God help me, I'll have to choke a bitch if I even see one wearing this form of mental puke. Who the hell thought this shit up? I understand catwalk fashions are modified for the masses... but the ONLY thing that will make this dress better is to BURN it. Now.

After seeing this, I am convinced that some fashion designers are idiots. Or they are on drugs. Or both.

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