Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Stupid Hall of Fame

Scanning the news today and last night, I realized I have hit the mother load for examples of Stupid. For your amusement:

Woman calls 911 over lack of shrimp in fried rice

HALTOM CITY, Texas – A woman called 911 to report she didn't get as much shrimp as she wanted in her fried rice at a Texas restaurant.

Haltom City police on Tuesday released the taped emergency call, in which the customer is heard telling the dispatcher, "to get a police officer up here, what has to happen?"

To answer her question: "For someone to smack you upside the head for thinking this was worth calling 911 about."

Proof that sometimes it is better to stay home or let someone else drive. You know, someone who can actually DRIVE.

Motorist survives three accidents in an hour

The 69-year-old woman from Berlin first crashed into three cars while trying to pull out of a supermarket car park on the Baltic resort island of Usedom.

Then, she accidentally stepped on the accelerator and sped across a lawn before crashing into a nearby house, police said. She was taken to hospital in an ambulance but that vehicle was then hit by a truck.

I don't think she should be allowed our of the house with car keys in the future.
People in Berlin are just weird- Here is another story from there:

Thief nabbed with 68 tubes of toothpaste

BERLIN (Reuters) - Police in northern Germany are searching for a man who tried to walk out of a supermarket with 68 tubes of toothpaste stuffed into his clothing.

"We don't know if he had bad teeth," a police spokeswoman in Rostock said Friday.

Noticing his bulging jacket, a store worker grabbed the man when he refused to stop and the tubes of toothpaste spilled all over the floor, police said.

The thief struck the woman in the face and ran out.

Let me point out that "nabbed" usually means caught. This man... not caught. He was busted stealing the weirdest thing I have ever read about, but he got away. Maybe he was addicted to the toothpaste....
Other weird thefts:
Man pleads guilty to serial shrimp shoplifting

SALEM, N.H. - A Massachusetts man has pleaded guilty to being a serial shrimp shoplifter at a New Hampshire supermarket, but hasn't explained why he couldn't stay away from the frozen fish.
Why? Who knows. I hope he is eating it at least... Is there a black market for stolen shrimp?

Here is how to get fired instantly (or teach your boss to NEVER hit on you):
Oops! Employee flips, damages borrowed Ferrari

BOULDER CREEK, Calif. – The California Highway Patrol said a 23-year-old woman driving an expensive Ferrari owned by her boss flipped it after taking a curve too fast, causing an estimated $125,000 in damage. CHP Officer Elizabeth Addy said the woman escaped the crash Saturday without injury, but her boss was irate.
Note to self: Speeding in the boss's sports car like your on a racetrack is probably NOT the best idea. Especially if your not a RACE CAR Driver.
Here are your Crazy Rednecks of the Month (via MSNBC):

Police: Woman starts brawl at wake; Reportedly arrives with beer can in hand, refuses to leave

A sheriff's report claimed the woman with the beer became "passively aggressive" with deputies and said that "no backwood country cop" was going to take her to jail.
Need I say more? Really how "backwood country" is it to show up with beer at a church funeral?

Boy drives 1,300 miles to Texas rodeo grounds

JETERSVILLE, Va. - A 13-year-old Virginia boy apparently loaded his family's pickup truck with food, clothes and his dog, hitched up a trailer with two horses in tow and drove nearly 1,300 miles to Texas, police said. The teen's parents found him safe Friday.

Police are unsure why the boy ran away Wednesday morning from his Jetersville-area home. He apparently was well-prepared, even bringing extra propane tanks along.

Hmmm. Note to self, don't make promises to this kid and back out unless you are prepared to hide the car keys, cash, credit cards and car... or in this case: truck.

Finally the winner of the Idiot Of the Month award:

Man decides to clean with gasoline while smoking

CHILTON, Wis. – A man faces an arson charge after telling authorities he wasn't thinking when he decided to use gasoline for cleaning up his apartment, and then tossed a lit cigarette into a pile of gas-soaked cushions and clothes. A criminal complaint filed Monday quoted a 47-year-old man as saying he knew gasoline is flammable and never should have used it.

The complaint said that when the fire began Friday, he didn't pull the fire alarm but instead shouted "fire" a couple times and walked to the Menasha police department for an ambulance to take him to the hospital where he was treated for burns.

Firefighters said the blaze extensively damaged the apartment and caused heavy smoke damage throughout the building, putting tenants of 11 other units out of their homes.

Wasn't thinking? Isn't THAT the understatement of the damn year. And once the moron set the fire he apparently STILL wasn't thinking because he didn't even call 911 or pull the alarm!!! Here is concrete proof that some people should not be allowed to use precious resources like... AIR.

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