Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Mall of Death

Some of you have seen my tweets and complaints about the local mall, Century III Mall. In its day, that mall was the place to be. It has a unique tri-split level layout:

(more Mall of Death Pics HERE, if your curious)

In any case, the mall's current owner has let the mall deteriorate badly and one whole section of the mall is closed. There are many vacant storefronts and that concourse pictured above is no longer crowded like it used to be. They moved the food court a couple years back, to this very depressing corner where all 3 levels meet, including the dead section that's closed. The lighting blows and the ceiling clearance is about 9 feet. It's a shitty place for the food court. Especially when you compare it to a place like Ross Park Mall.
One of my readers had the chance to spend extended time at the Mall Of Death today. Inspired by my tweets and complaints, I was sent this: (A Guest Rant)

So here's what Mayor D is going to do with Century III Mall. Gonna close it immediately! Then we're gonna take the mall and convert it to a multi purpose facility. I'm going section it all up!

One section is going to be a medical facility that will serve as an annex to Jefferson Hospital. We'll have doctors and specialists and rehab here.

Another section is going to be a bus lounge were riders can shoot each other in comfort while waiting for a bus transfer. Yes, shoot each other in comfort...and they can do drugs and get high and have babies on the couch and be prostitutes and do all those other wonderful things that bus riders en route to clariton enjoy. 61c Mckeesport baby....keepin it real, man keepin it real!

Then we're going have a big fitness center here with nutritionists and cooking classes and health experts!

Finally, we will have another section that's gonna be an annex to CCAC south campus with more classrooms and computer training and such.

I'll make the Bus Lounge real nice. Lcd screens for all... 1 screen shows bus schedules, another shows available prostitutes with rates, another gives real time price quotes for an ounce of crack.... I'm going to have a vending machine in my bus lounge....it will be stocked with disposable needles, condoms, tampons, cigarettes, and Advil. The Bus Lounge will be a great hit!

I probably will keep a few stores here...but only a handful. They are mostly gonna be shoe stores, beauty salons, tanning places, and nail salons. I'll reopen the kfc that used to be here too. Inside will be payless shoes, Gabriel brothers, salvation army. And goodwill. Other anchor stores will be the unemployment office, ace cash express, my bus lounge, and a family planning clinic.

I'll put some branch office banks and atms here too! If you need money, you can just conveniently rob the bank, so you have money to pay for the prostitute that's gonna ride the bus home with you tonight!
See how easily I can improve peoples lives??!! Giving back to the community man, that's what its all about. I'm telling you....I got a higher calling in life!

I've been coming to this mall since I've been 5 years old....I can tell you whatever you need to know about it and what's going happen after it closes... The people from clariton who will make full use of my bus lounge are the reason why the mall is what it is today.

Friday, January 15, 2010

The Pee Police

I have been at my current job since Sept. I can honestly say I have not really met anyone I couldn't stand. Everyone I have met, is nice and I have liked some more than others...

I am still in training. Hopefully at the end of this month I will be fully graduated from training.
My Employer takes a long time to train employees because they want them to be good. They also expect you to act like an adult, if you don't, they have tons of reports they can run to striaghten your ass up. Employer doesn't play when it comes to certain things. Srsly.
Well in the training area we got a new supervisor. I like my supervisor. This new supervisor? She is not mine (thank goodness) and I do not like her.
She is The Pee Police.

We do a lot of online trainings, and sometimes you can finish them a couple minutes early. If you do, generally, your allowed to get a drink or run to the bathroom before logging back in. It's not encouraged, but its normally not a major issue as long as your not abusing it. The other day, at various times, the people around me were doing OLTs. One girl, B, finished early and got up from her desk to use the bathroom really quick. And The Pee Police, L, stopped her and started quizzing her.

Why are you up?
Where are you going?
Are you allowed to do that?
You should do something else if your done with your training

Gee... I didn't think we were 2!! I also didn't realize we had to schedule offline time to be allowed to step away from our desks to pee if it wasn't a scheduled break or lunch.
Sorry. My bladder doesn't have a f&%$ing watch! I don't think B's does either. B basically blew her off and went pee. The Pee Police proceeded to go and TATTLE to the other supervisors!!! Honestly, its not that huge of a deal. There really isn't much training you can complete in 3 minutes. There is nothing in the performance agreement that says peeing off schedule is forbidden.

Then when B returned a couple minutes later, L "instructed" her the proper log out process for unscheduled potty breaks. It was completely unnecessary and a waste of everyone else's time
I was angry for her. Its a bunch of bullshit. She was mad too. Its not like we wander aimlessly around the call center all the time and need to be reigned in by a sheep dog.

Well, today The Pee Police felt the need to hang out in our section all day. Cause we are so damn much trouble, peeing off schedule and all. About 14 of us all work the same schedule, meaning breaks and lunch are the same. But all day she was questioning every person who had the nerve to leave their seat. At about 7pm when half of us were on break and clearly NOT living in our tiny cubes, she stopped and immediately started questions us. AGAIN!!!
What are you doing?
Why are you up?

Someone quickly spoke up and said WE ARE ON BREAK. (Good grief woman!)

What I wanted to say was, "that we were working on a way to launch you out the 4th floor window with out anybody noticing."

But I like having a job. Damn.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Stupid Hall of Fame: Moron Edition

***Now I know there are some dire happenings in Haiti right now. You can head over to That's Church for those updates on current efforts. I am just here to provide some amusement and escape from all seriousness***

I know all 47 of my fans have missed Stupid Hall Of Fame updates... So, I have a good one for you today.

From the PG
Hairdresser sentenced for shooting dissatisfied customer

Now normally, if you don't like your hair, you get it re cut, or a refund... but apparently something went horribly wrong here. The most important part of this story is the defense.
A Washington County hairstylist who claims she didn't know a .38-caliber handgun was a "deadly weapon" will spend five to 20 years in prison for shooting a dissatisfied client in the lower back.
Ms. Reed says she fired two shots because the Ms. Newton sisters jumped her and didn't realize "a .38-caliber could be considered a deadly weapon."

From MSNBC, (whom I have missed using for countless stupid hall of fame posts since I started working these crazy ass hours.)

Woman charged in McDonald’s rampage
She’s accused of trashing the restaurant because of a burger problem

In the video, which has been viewed hundreds of thousands of times online, a customer is seen throwing a sign and a water dispenser over a counter and pushing three cash registers to the floor.

OK. OK. I know this seems TOTALLY insane, but how about nicely ASKING for them to remake it the right way?? I know this shit works. But maybe I am the crazy one.... Second, maybe its a BAD idea to wreak the restaurant with a CAMERA aimed right at you!
On Tuesday, the Jackson County prosecutor's office charged 19-year-old Alesha McMullen of Kansas City with Class D felony property damage. Police say McMullen told officers her order was prepared wrong and the restaurant refused to give her a refund.
So, you trashed the McDonald's over about $5? Really? That angry, that you will now spend HUNDREDS in fines, court costs, a lawyer and restitution? You have a PROBLEM then. You need some damn Prozac or anger management or something to CALM your ass down. SRSLY.

And not to be outdone, Here comes the winner for Worst Parent of the Month:

Police: Conn. mom left kids in car while tanning

I didn't even read the story before I said "WHAT THE F*&% is wrong with that bitch!?" Connecticut in January?? Clearly the tanning bed burnt ALL her brain cells away.

ENFIELD, Conn. - Police in Connecticut say 28-year-old mother (Candy Ann Rock) is charged with leaving her two young children in her car in freezing temperatures while she went tanning in a salon.
Enfield Police Chief Carl Sferrazza told the Journal Inquirer that Rock left her two children — ages 3 and just under 1 year — in the parked car, which was not running, for 18 minutes during her tanning session at about 9 a.m. Monday. He said weather reports showed the wind chill was 19 degrees at the time.
Thank GOODNESS the kids were OK. But OMFG! Really? 19 degrees and you thought it was OK to just leave them in there?? Really? SRSLY? I think my brain might explode. I want to punch her in the head for leaving a BABY and Toddler ALONE, in the car, EVER. At 28, she should be smarter than a rock. I swear I hope they take those kids away. Or she drowns in a puddle tanning lotion.

Yes, her name is Candy Rock. Awesome.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Asshole Drivers... n'stuff

First, I will cover the "n'stuff"
I'll call this "Stating the obvious."

From the Columnist Section of the PG:

WAIT!! Don't click it yet. I'll sum it all up in 2, yes 2 sentences and save you some time.

The defense has become epic fail, even more so with out Troy.
They LOST to Cleveland. DONE.

Now if you still want to read a full page column saying all that with more words? Go for it.

Ron Cook: Here's why Steelers failed

Second. Asshole Drivers? You really really piss me off.
Before I flip out, I will confess my driving habits just so we are all clear:

My disclaimer: I use my turn signals 99.5% of the time. I stop at red lights and stop signs 99% of the time. I do NOT drive slower than the speed limit if it is at all possible. And unless the highways are bad, my average speed is 65. I don't text and drive, sometimes I wont even answer my phone while driving. I don't cut people off. I don't tailgate. I try to be a safe driver. More so, because its been 6 years of riding the bus in to town and now I have a regular commute to Cranberry.

Clear? Good.

With the weather being bad you would think people would driver safer on the highways.
You would be wrong. I have been tailgated so close several times in the last 4 days that sometimes I can't see their headlights, or they were blinding me. I USE cruise control. I was going 65-70-- GET OFF MY ASS!!!
Some people would slow down as punishment for tailgating. but 930pm, on a dark highway alone... I got out of the damn way. Still It pisses me off.
Tonight, while in the passing lane, I passed an SUV. I was going 65. 10 min later this SUV is suddenly UP MY ASS out of nowhere. I don't know where he came from, but if it had been light outside, I would have slowed to 55. To prove a point.

The other thing that really gets me angry are the people who drive slower than the speed limit, f&%$ing up traffic all over the place, and then RUN A RED LIGHT!!


How about if you drove 45 instead of 30, you wouldn't have to run the red light asshole! Running the light defeats the whole "I'm not in a hurry, so I will just go WAY slower than everyone else" tone you have set by going 10 miles hour UNDER the speed limit.

So we are clear, if you see an Impala rocking out to Lady Gaga on 79/279? Just leave me alone. K?