Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Mall of Death

Some of you have seen my tweets and complaints about the local mall, Century III Mall. In its day, that mall was the place to be. It has a unique tri-split level layout:

(more Mall of Death Pics HERE, if your curious)

In any case, the mall's current owner has let the mall deteriorate badly and one whole section of the mall is closed. There are many vacant storefronts and that concourse pictured above is no longer crowded like it used to be. They moved the food court a couple years back, to this very depressing corner where all 3 levels meet, including the dead section that's closed. The lighting blows and the ceiling clearance is about 9 feet. It's a shitty place for the food court. Especially when you compare it to a place like Ross Park Mall.
One of my readers had the chance to spend extended time at the Mall Of Death today. Inspired by my tweets and complaints, I was sent this: (A Guest Rant)

So here's what Mayor D is going to do with Century III Mall. Gonna close it immediately! Then we're gonna take the mall and convert it to a multi purpose facility. I'm going section it all up!

One section is going to be a medical facility that will serve as an annex to Jefferson Hospital. We'll have doctors and specialists and rehab here.

Another section is going to be a bus lounge were riders can shoot each other in comfort while waiting for a bus transfer. Yes, shoot each other in comfort...and they can do drugs and get high and have babies on the couch and be prostitutes and do all those other wonderful things that bus riders en route to clariton enjoy. 61c Mckeesport baby....keepin it real, man keepin it real!

Then we're going have a big fitness center here with nutritionists and cooking classes and health experts!

Finally, we will have another section that's gonna be an annex to CCAC south campus with more classrooms and computer training and such.

I'll make the Bus Lounge real nice. Lcd screens for all... 1 screen shows bus schedules, another shows available prostitutes with rates, another gives real time price quotes for an ounce of crack.... I'm going to have a vending machine in my bus lounge....it will be stocked with disposable needles, condoms, tampons, cigarettes, and Advil. The Bus Lounge will be a great hit!

I probably will keep a few stores here...but only a handful. They are mostly gonna be shoe stores, beauty salons, tanning places, and nail salons. I'll reopen the kfc that used to be here too. Inside will be payless shoes, Gabriel brothers, salvation army. And goodwill. Other anchor stores will be the unemployment office, ace cash express, my bus lounge, and a family planning clinic.

I'll put some branch office banks and atms here too! If you need money, you can just conveniently rob the bank, so you have money to pay for the prostitute that's gonna ride the bus home with you tonight!
See how easily I can improve peoples lives??!! Giving back to the community man, that's what its all about. I'm telling you....I got a higher calling in life!

I've been coming to this mall since I've been 5 years old....I can tell you whatever you need to know about it and what's going happen after it closes... The people from clariton who will make full use of my bus lounge are the reason why the mall is what it is today.


  1. It's depressing what Century III has become. I remember when it was actually a "destination mall." I hate that it has turned into what it has - especially since it is the most conventient mall for me. Now, I pretty much go there only when I need contacts (Sears) or something from the Verizon store. Occasionally I need something quick and I will stop, but I usually end up leaving disgusted.

  2. Yes C3 was the most popular, most delightful mall back in the day, everything u could think of was here n it was so crowded there to. No its not the ppl from CLAIRTON the reason the mall is the way it is now, its 1st bc of the economy, 2nd Simon is to worried bout RPM n SHV n trying to eliminate the mall completely, n 3rd its the ghetto ass pieces of shit from the Hill District that come up there steal shit n try to run it, they need to go out to Monroeville Mall where they belong! Its not the Clairton ppl , most of em work there, n Im 1 of em.

  3. Im a clairton person, I used to work at the mall, i remember the hobby shop, and the coffee peddler(real coffee not that starbuck's and gloria jeans shit), also not all people from c-town are useless, overbreeding pieces of shit , those peole are everywhere.

  4. Wow, that wasn't racist at all. And poorly written to boot.

  5. Dear Anonymous #3. First off... you can probably guess my race, but the reader that sent me the post? I cant tell you that person's race, so I think that is a little unfair. There is not a specific reference to anyone's race in that post. And finally, It's a sarcastic, tongue in cheek post. i get that not everyone has the same dry sarcastic sense of humor.

  6. Im actually sorry I visited this racist blog site. And also the food court wasnt moved a few years ago its been in the same place since 1980 . Sarcastic and tounge in cheek my ass. The clairton bus rider and kfc comments ARE racist. I wonder if I made reference to bricklaying , greasy haired Camaro IROC driving people you would never guess I meant Italians huh ?

  7. I agree ! Bloggers are just people who want to express their opinions in disguise cuase they are too cowardly to say those things in public.Why dont you go up to clairton and stand on the corner and say that kind of trash. Why .... cause your a coward !!

  8. please don't send them to Monroeville Mall, its dying enough on it's own.

    (p.s. it's "You're" Anon #5...it's a contraction...a shortened form of You Are.)

  9. HAHAHA! I think the anonymous comments are funnier than the rant. It's not racist. It's stereotyping. If you can't get those two concepts clear, then go read the dictionary.

  10. lol beth... exactly. And if my blog is so bad... why do they come back, repeatedly? Anonymously, ofcourse, we wouldnt want to know who they are at all right? cause thats not hiding behind the internet.