Saturday, November 9, 2013

Black Friday is a LIE

Reading the myriad of new reports about "Black Friday" and the retailers trying to one up each other this year makes me want to smack someone in the head. I feel like I need to get a calendar out and teach retailer CEO's the days of the week again. My 1st grader knows them. So, I would assume that once you get disgustingly rich, and never work on holidays, you must forget the days of the week.

Thursday Friday. Ever.
"Kmart announced that the stores that long promoted "blue light specials" will be open AT 6AM on Thanksgiving morning until 11 p.m. Friday night.
Sears stores will work a less aggressive schedule, opening from 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving night to 10 p.m. Friday."
That means, people do not get to spend time with their families, on a FAMILY holiday. Also, IT IS NOT BLACK FRIDAY SALE IF YOU ARE OPEN ON THURSDAY. I don't understand the confusion here. You can't have a Black Friday sale if the day of the sale is NOT FRIDAY
"Some malls and even Target, Macy’s and JC Penny will open at 8 PM Thanksgiving Day for the beginning of the Black Friday deals."

I love you Target, but come on. I expect better.

Can we have one damn day a year? Retail and customer service doesn't deserve ONE DAY OFF from humanity and its general rudeness??? Really? It can't wait until FRIDAY?

Now, that we have established that 'Black Friday' means nothing since stores are opened for the same sales on days that are NOT Fridays... Why stop at Thursday??? If you really want to win this game, you have to think outside the box.

Let's have Black Friday on the MONDAY of Thanksgiving week. Hell, why bother with just a week early? Let's smash the competitors and start with the first Friday of November and call THAT Friday, Black Friday instead. Retailers are always moaning about the short holiday shopping season. So, why not move "Black Friday" a couple weeks so that people can spend one damn holiday with family. JUST ONE.

Amazon and Wal-Mart are already on that idea of starting holiday sales right after Halloween. Both of them started their sales November 1st.

For the record, I have never shopped on Black Friday. I have worked in retail for it in the past, and people who go out and shop on Black Friday, are INSANE. You know what? I have to deal with insanity, rudeness and mean people every single work day.
I have to work Thanksgiving.
I have to work the day after.
I'll probably have to work Christmas eve, Christmas day and New Years.
I miss every holiday.
It sucks.

It would be nice if we, the holiday deprived, could get ONE DAMN HOLIDAY OFF.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Random Rants

Sports pain...

I will say what we are all thinking after they lost 55-31 today.

Go home steelers, you're DRUNK.

What happens when you overspend on one player and then shop at the dollar store for the rest of the team? Yeah. I know. Right? Or Maybe the Pirates passed on the Loseritis to them.


Open letters

Dear Coworker,

Stop wearing pajama pants to work. STOP IT. It takes all of ONE WHOLE MINUTE to put on a pair of jeans. And if you are using that one minute to put ON the pajama pants? You really need to evaluate your LIFE. Pajama Pants are not intended to be worn to work. OR EVEN OUTSIDE.
At this point, yoga pants, leggings, and pajama jeans are way more appropriate clothing to wear to work.
Have you ever heard the expression "dress for the job you want, not the job you have?" Is your desired job Homeless Person? I don't expect you to go all out, but you know, executives pass through our building, you could at least LOOK like you work for the damn company.

Dear Cats,

Knock your shit off at 5 am. You can play on the ENTIRE 1st floor. I would prefer to sleep rather than be assaulted by cats chasing each other all over my bedroom at 5 in the morning. And I would love if you played with the 204857594 toys down there instead of knocking all my stuff off my vanity at 6 am.

Yeah. I'm living a pipe dream. I know it. Tonight cats are going to pull my hair or sit on my chest and suffocate me, and I'll see pajama pants at work tomorrow, I'm sure.

My favorite line of the week:

"I spend all day at work NOT telling people how I really feel, so it all has to come out some time!"