Stupid Hall of Fame

Today I have a reason for not letting stupid people drink and a tie for Horrible Parent of the Month...
From MSNBC:
Man pretending to fall off bridge actually falls

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. – Police said a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge. Police got a call just before 5 a.m. Sunday from a 21-year-old man who said his friend fell off the Highway 77 bridge and into a marshy area about 30 feet below.

The caller said he was driving north when his friend, who he said had been drinking, told him to pull into the bridge's emergency lane so he could urinate.

The 23-year-old stood eventually climbed to the ledge of the bridge, then looked at his friend and pretended to fall. "He then in fact fell," reads a press release from the Bloomington Police Department.

Police from Bloomington and Eagan responded, and the Eagan Fire Department used a chair lift to retrieve the man. He was transported to Hennepin County Medical Center where was treated.

Natural Selection should have weeded this moron out. Personally, he should be billed for what it cost to rescue his dumb ass. Note to Self: Pretending to fall off a bridge is NEVER a good idea.
And for the Horrible Parent(s) of the month, we have a tie:

Parents accused of taking children on burglary

Prosecutors said Erika Santana, 23, drove the van with her four-year-old and five-month-old children inside after Hugo Lantigua, 22, who is the baby's father, and Pedro Camillo, 19, broke into two houses in the borough of Queens.

The story also states they had a loaded hand gun in the car with the kids. All I want to know is how do you NOT get a baby sitter? I mean come on! "Sorry, kids. We have to wait in the car while daddy steals from people. When he comes back we are gonna drive away real fast! It'll be fun!"
Note to Self: When committing crimes it is better to leave the kids at home and not have them in the getaway vehicle.
The title of Horrible Parent(s) of the month is shared with this mom:

Police: Mom ordered daughters out, drove off

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. - Usually, it's an empty threat: "If you kids don't stop fighting, I'm going to stop this car right now and leave you here!" But a mother from an upper-crust New York suburb went through with it, ordering her battling 10- and 12-year-old daughters out of her car in White Plains' business district and driving off, police said Tuesday.

Now what really bothers me is this:

She left them at Post Road and South Broadway, an area of shops and offices 3 miles from their home, then drove off, the police report said. The report does not say whether the girls had cell phones.

Police would not say if Primoff ever returned to look for the girls, but they said, without explaining how, that the 12-year-old eventually caught up with the mother. The 10-year-old was found by a "Good Samaritan" on the street, upset and emotional about losing her mother, police said.

OK. Hmmm... You leave them behind and just drive home. Apparently this family is so dysfunctional that the 2 girls did not stay together. So, the 12 year old ditches the 10 year old. How exactly did the 12 year old get home? What kind of parent abandons her 2 young daughters on the side of the street? In New York? Do you really blame the 10year old for being upset at this point? Ditched by her mom AND her sister... Nice.

Briccetti would not comment on details of the case. But he said, "Madlyn is a great mother connected with a great family, and she is grateful for the outpouring of support from friends and family."

Somehow, unless these are devil children... I think that whole statement is a LIE. Oh she is connected. To money. That's what that means. Let me translate, what he meant to say is this:
"If this was some poor middle class woman, CYF would have taken the kids already and it would be months before she even got a hearing. She is grateful that money can buy her way out of shit. And by the way, her kids are horrible spoiled brats because she raised them that way."

Note to self: One damn kid is enough trouble.