The Rants Have Returned.

Welcome 2011!!!!

WOOOOOOOOO!!!

Anyway. After spending a month with out land line internet to my PC... Big Yellow is now wireless. The land line running to the PC went bad. It was easier to spend $20 on a USB wireless than try to run a new line to my room. Lets just leave it that that
I have a post Christmas parent type rant. (cause it ain't Christmas unless I'm bitching)

Packaging. Toy Packaging.
And "directions."

First, directions. The tiny princess castle was Direction FAIL. There was a sticker sheet, cause apparently its TOO EXPENSIVE for the manufacturer to put stickers on... and the direction paper was seriously 2 little pages. The fail came to applying the stickers. It only showed about half the sticker placement.
Then it said this, "See product picture on box for sticker placement."
Here is the problem. SOMEBODY did not make sure the picture on the box was the SAME as the item IN THE BOX.
It wasn't.
Apparently they made the castle "bigger" on the box. Or they made it smaller later to fit in the box. I know this because I looked at the places where there were random stupid stickers in the picture... and then looked on the castle to see there was NO WAY POSSIBLE to fit an effing sticker in that spot. I improvised. I generally ignored the picture on the box. I was so pissed though.

Barbie's vacation home thing is also guilty. There are these clips to attach TV's and lights when the vacation house is opened up. The directions are so bad, I am still not sure I have the right clips on the right items. Also, it took me 10 minutes to figure out what these were:

That's a tiny remote and a tiny effing ipod/speakers. There was no mentions of the items. I thought the ipod thing was a part because there is no detailing on the back of either item like there is on the front. Stupid.
Even the damn barbie car. It had 2 sticker sheets and little side mirrors that needed attached. No directions at all. NONE.
Add an impatient 3 (almost 4 yr old) to the mix....
*sigh*

Now, we will talk about Barbie. Julia LOVES Barbies. The Tiny Disney Princesses, the Tinkerbell line (I'm always the bitchy black haired fairy), the Barbies themselves...  she loves them. I, on the other hand, HATE getting the Mother Effers out of the packaging. (yes. effers. I'm trying to say the F word Less. Don't judge me.)


WHY is the barbie hair SEWN to the box when she has 27 plastic tie things, (no, not the twist ties) and 20 tiny clear bands holding her in???!! Not to mention the shipping grade tape on the outside of the damn box. And she has the ties in her damn HEAD. So, when you do rip her out in frustration, you have to take small scissors, find them in her hair, cut the T shaped part sticking out, then shove the rest in her little plastic effing skull with out leaving a bald spot on the damn doll. How about you just put little effing bands in her hair so that I don't RIP OUT what hair I didn't cut???

I had several minor injuries from the damn packaging on my hands.
And a massive headache.
Merry Effing Christmas.
Bastards.

Pittsburgh is still traumatized...

So a funny thing happened the other day.
It got gawd damn COLD.
In 24 hrs it went from 50 to 30. I know!! I was in shock. My freaking car has been groaning for the last 3 days because it was in shock too...

EVERYONE who lived even remotely NEAR Pittsburgh in February 2010 knows about SNOMFG aka Snomageddon... I wont say another word. Doesn't need introductions. Ever.

On my way home from Cranberry the other day... I discovered just HOW badly Pittsburgh was still messed up from... well, you know. Snow flakes started blowing lightly (not landing or sticking) in the air and the next thing you know, EVERYONE is doing 45. On 79 south.
Nobody EVER does 45 on that stretch. But damn, I could practically hear all the screaming going on  in the traffic around me from the mere SIGHT of snow flakes.
 
*sigh* Its gonna be a long winter.

Black Friday Idiots

I never ever shop on Black Friday. There is always a riot at a walmart over electronics. The traffic is insane.. At $3.09 a gallon my ass is sitting in the chair, shopping at Amazon. Srsly.
Finally... The people are NUTS.
Per the PG:
Shoppers head to the stores early

The first shopper at the North Hills Village Mall Best Buy appeared at noon Thursday for the can-you-believe-it deals that have become as expected this time of year as turkey. At least 300 people had joined nearly four hours later.
Nearby, a crowd of at least 600 people stood outside the North Hills Village Target.

REALLY??? WTF is wrong with people. Don't you spend 1 damn day with your family?? Huh? 1!!

Shoppers pitched tents to brave the rain or stood near store-supplied propane heaters to stay warm in the early hours this morning

You know what I call that? Fuckin.... Nuts.

Its cold. Raining. IT'S THANKSGIVING. Stay Home.

 

And in the "I can't make this shit up!" Column:

 

USA Today: "Facebook jealousy sparks asthma attacks in dumped boy"

 

Before I go ANY farther.... WHY THE HELL IS THIS NEWS?????

Are you EFFING kidding me? My brain actually hurts from reading JUST the headline. SRSLY.

Whats next? 

"Pirates Players discover other teams win with low payroll and drink themselves in to comas"?

"OchoCinco realizes he will never see a Superbowl ring and end-zone dances himself in to traffic"?

"Anger over repeated threats for bus service cuts sparks Riders to beat management senseless"

 Oh wait... that last one could happen.... Heh.

I can't even quote the article. The whole story is completely absurd. It makes me so mad I want to spork the AP for even publishing this story ANYWHERE.

Happy Ranting

I will bitch about our football team #fail later. For now?
A Happy Post
WOOT!!

So first up? I am checking some *more* shit off the list.... I know!!! I need a New List. Funny thing... I was saying I needed to add something to it and now I forget what it was. Shit....
Original List:

• Go to the Ocean. 
• Go to see Falling Water
• Go to a Penguins Game at the CEC (I will sell my kid for a ticket.... just kidding. maybe.)
• Go to a Haunted House and actually get scared, Scare House maybe? I am so freaking jaded that the last haunted house I went too my heart didn't even race a little bit.
• Go to Karaoke and actually sing. Nothing scares me more than singing in front of people. I am working on planning a Twitter Karaoke night. Soon.
• Go to Kennywood for phantom fright nights with out a kid in tow so I can ride the coasters in the dark and really get a rush.

See all that Purple??? See that the Pens Game is IN PURPLE??!!
That is thanks to @douglasderda. I will have a ticket. For a pens game. ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I am stoked.
BTW Karaoke was a roaring success. In the house for my first song at Dukes (in bethel) were @feuxdeforet, @jackieinserra, and new friend @chicklitlisa. And?
We ROCK.
From what I understand very few try and succeed well at Evanescence. Well, Jackie and I nailed that shit twice and I'm pretty sure we were encouraged to come back by some of the regulars. (It was loud so I couldn't hear the whole conversation). We danced, we sang. It was fun as hell girls night out. The place is nice, smoke free, has an excellent DJ and sound system. (New fav drink? Cherry vodka and Sprite)
Now that I have overcome the fear... I am pretty sure we will have to do this on a regular basis. So anyone who missed out.... There will be future outings. I promise.
Gawd I love singing.
I will get a new list posted soon....

A Bunch of Random...

So first up... The List

I am pretty sure with the exception of Twitter (and Friends) Karaoke... nothing else is getting checked off before next year..... So, Haunted House? Done. Karaoke? NEXT WEEKEND!!! WOOO. Anyway.
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How can you go insane in under 20 minutes? {mom blogging}

Julia: What is this street's name?
Me: Pioneer.
Julia: Why is that its name?
Me: Cause it is.
Julia: Why?
Me: *brain explodes*

Julia: Why is there 2 green lights?
Me: Seriously? I don't know
Julia: Cause they put them up there.
Me: *brain explodes*

Julia: Where is Greentree Road mommy?
Me: What?
Julia Greentree road.
Me: Its the other direction.
Julia: Are we gonna go on it?
Me: No. We are going this way to grandmas
Julia: Why?
Me: Because This way is faster.
Julia: Why?
Me: *brain explodes*

Julia: Look mommy that police car matches our car
Me: [believe me] I know
Julia: Why is it a different color?
Me: Because police cars are different since they are the police [cut me some slack, my brain was hurting at this point]
Julia: Why does it have those lights in the window? Why we don't have those lights? Where are our lights? You NEED those lights mommy. Mommy how are you gonna get those more lights? Mommy one of the police lights is broke [burned out break light]. Where are all the other cars? Where did they go? Are they hiding from us?.....

Kid 1 - Mom 0 {/end mom blogging}
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Dear Steelers and Penguins

Srsly?? Seriously? You all need to get your acts together. NOW. There is only ONE loser sports team in the city and that is the Pirates. Do me a favor.... KNOCK IT OFF.
love, me