Thing that piss me off: Bug Edition

Let the word out.
If you are a bug, your ass is dead if you come near me. Especially if your a f&%$ing stink bug.
I am the bug assassin. If your a bug? "I keel you!!" (jeff dunham ref)

I have been ignoring the little bastards for like a week. I hate them. They are the creepiest f&%$ing bug I have ever seen. Last year I was stalked by one in my house. There was about 3 hanging out in my room at moms... We kept our distance. But they freak me out.
Well I noticed 4 in the bedroom at my house.
I noticed them because when I sent julia in there on a time out from teasing the dog, she laid in the bed, crying that were "scary bugs everywhere." I made her serve her time out on the chair in the living room. I never got to deal with them because the flash storm rolled in and knocked out power to half of the south hills area for like 12 hours.

Today, when I walked into that bedroom to close the open window because the air was on, I was STUNNED. I counted 13.
Oh. Hell. No.

This shit was ON now! I whipped out the vacuum, put the attachments on the hose and let out a battle cry. Well... I cursed at them a lot. As I sucked them up, I started enjoying the satisfying little "thwak" they made. Hehehe DIE bitches DIE.....

Anyway. That open window had a gap in the screen. When I pulled the mini blind up there was a f&%$ing parade of the effers heading to that gap in the screen. I think I muttered the words "I dont think so assholes." as I wacked the screen. And there was WAY more than 13 in the Bissel at this point. I stopped counting at 25 dead. I sucked every single one up. Behind the dresser (its in front of the window), the walls, the window sill... Then I covered the end of the hose to be sure they were all suffering a horrible suffocating death for terrorizing my kid. ( and me at night when I'm trying to sleep) I closed the window real tight and stalked the last couple that escaped the bedroom. I ran the sweeper on the carpet to add to their misery if any were still living.

I went to moms, and repeated the same process in my room... Discovering there was like 8 or so more. I am pretty sure by then I was shouting shit like "I am the assassin!" "F&%$ you bug." "DIE" "You can run but I will get you!!!" "Who is the bad ass bitch with the bissel??!!" "Let me hear your little screams!!"
Maybe.
I ran the sweeper on the carpet on 2 floors to ensure their miserable deaths. And I flushed one tonight that had snuck in to my bathroom to hide. I enjoyed the drowning. Bastards.

I killed almost 40 of those f&%$ers today. The catch? I have the same model bag-less bissel at both houses. And the containers will need emptied at some point....
Bastards.

Things I would like to do

I am not calling this a bucket list... too f&%$ing cliche.... Its just a list of things I would like to do in the next 12 months.

• Go to the Ocean. 
• Go to see Falling Water
• Go to a Penguins Game at the CEC (I will sell my kid for a ticket.... just kidding. maybe.)
• Go to a Haunted House and actually get scared, Scare House maybe? I am so freaking jaded that the last haunted house I went too my heart didn't even race a little bit.
• Go to Karaoke and actually sing. Nothing scares me more than singing in front of people. I am working on planning a Twitter Karaoke night. Soon.
• Go to Kennywood for phantom fright nights with out a kid in tow so I can ride the coasters in the dark and really get a rush.

Okay... I think that is a start. Some of these would work better to have someone (or a group) to do it with. But if I go it alone... then so be it.

Getting my Inner Bitch on

I am still on vacation... but there are a few things I would like to get off my chest.

First, the foremost thing on my mind... When the HELL is the West End Circle makeover gonna be done?? For the love of GAWD. Put the switch plates, cabinet handles and socket covers ON and call the Realtor!! (house flipper reference) Jez. And what ever they did with that damn light coming from the Main St. Ramp? It is TOO LONG now. Fix it.

I took Julia to Erie at the beginning of my vacation to play in splash lagoon and then a beach on Presque Isle the next day. Two things stand out that annoyed me.

First: Signs. I don't know if it is an Erie thing or what, but all the damn signs were small or 27 feet from the road!! While Google Navigation is yelling at me to make a U turn, I can't see the hotel sign in the dark, pouring rain cause its HIDDEN behind the Shell Station at the curb. And the hotel is set WAY back off the road. This happened with Splash Lagoon too. I passed it, looking for a sign along the ROAD, not right up against the building.
It's not like that here. Signs are along the damn road.
For about 30 minutes at the beach I thought Erie would be a nice place to live. Then I remembered how f&%$ing cold it gets and how much snow they get and I changed my mind.

Second
.....
Shit... all that bitching and I forget what number 2 is.... must have been the snow. Snow definitely pisses me off. Well I reserve the right to revisit this should I ever remember what was.

Some Other things that piss me off

My car hates Sams Club gas, I swear I put the good stuff in right before I left to come home an I have some horrific gas mileage ratio for this current tank.

Local Radio: OMG PLEASE there are LOTS of other songs NOT by Katy {fake} Perry, Keeeesha {the skank} or John {the whiner} Mayer. Please play some of those songs. My non hate of radio lasted all of 3 months. I am sick of it. Also DVE can take some pointers from Erie's version of them (102.3 I think) and note how they play all kinds of classic and new rock with out sucking or killing me with the same Ozzy song billed as "new" for 8 months.

Those creepy "stink bugs" that are f&%$in invading my room. Whats the best way to get rid of them?? Please??

Now Things I Heart:
I heart Google Navigation. I would have never done that trip on my own w a kid without some GPS in the house. Especially in the dark. Pouring rain. In a city that hides signs. There was no epic fails, minor ones, but no epic ones because of my awesome droid inc.

Pandora Radio cause I can refuse to hear any of the previously mentioned crap above that I am sick to death of hearing.

And Finally,
I heart all my twitter (and some real life) friends. For totally being here for me and sticking with me through the ups and downs the last few months. I mean that. Without you guys and gals.... I can never say thank you enough.

Stupid Hall Of Fame: Wedding Edition

Welcome to the Wedding edition of Stupid Hall Of Fame. Courtesy of USA Today's Offbeat section. (msnbc moved all their shit around and now I can't find their weird news.)

All Aboard the WTF Train:::

Sometimes, if you have friends like these... you don't need enemies...


Wash. bride arrested for DUI on her wedding day 

BELLEVUE, Wash. (AP) — A 31-year-old bride heading home from her bachelorette party was arrested for drunken driving hours before she was to get married.

Washington State Patrol Trooper Christina Martin says the woman was driving over 90 mph Saturday morning and weaving in and out of traffic on Interstate 405 in Bellevue when she was stopped.

Ok... So... WHO are the BAD bridesmaids that let the bride DRIVE DRUNK from her bachelorette party. Lucky for her ass... she made it to the wedding... Srsly though? That is an #EPICFAIL of her bridal party...

Who was like "Eff her, she can find her own damn way home." How do you *not* have a designated driver for the damn bride? The NIGHT BEFORE the wedding? People still do that the night before? Who the HELL wants a hangover, little sleep and then get married the NEXT MORNING? I guess its the same Idiots who let the bride leave her own party PLASTERED.

Continuing with the wedding theme on the WTF train... Watch my head explode with confusion and amazement:

Pa. man gets drug case hearing, then wedding.

EASTON, Pa. (AP) — The bride wore a gray suit. The groom wore a prison jumpsuit — and handcuffs.

And a Pennsylvania judge was doing double-duty after having just handled proceedings in the groom's drug case.

Northampton County prison inmate Franklin Barndt and Takesha Piazza were married Friday after he tried to have evidence against him dismissed in a cocaine case. Defense attorney Gary Asteak said he hatched the idea after seeing Piazza in the courtroom.

Judge Leonard Zito said he had never gotten such a request before, but "we're a full-service court." And when Zito asked whether anyone knew any reason why the marriage shouldn't proceed, the three-year mandatory minimum sentence that Barndt faces if convicted didn't come up.
The pair even managed to exchange a kiss over the objections of prosecutor Michele Kluk.

I can't even BEGIN to make shit up this good. Bet the wedding photos RAWK. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear the story about how mommy got married to daddy and then 3 years later they actually got to see each other with out bars, plate glass and prison guards. What kind of anniversary presents will they exchange?
Money in his commissary account?
Home made his and her shanks??
Candle light dinners chaperoned by the Parole Officer?

Final stop on the WTF train is Tokyo. There is a 2 min video with this one if you follow the link...

I-Fairy robot weds Tokyo couple in tinny voice

The nuptials at this ceremony were led by "I-Fairy," a 4-foot tall seated robot with flashing eyes and plastic pigtails. Sunday's wedding was the first time a marriage had been led by a robot, according to manufacturer Kokoro Co.

Really... I'm tired of the whole "Lets {insert ridiculous idea here} for our wedding. It's {yawn} and over used. Its fine to be unique. Its another thing to have a $70,000 robot that requires a person to punch in the commands to marry you.

....Wires led out from beneath it to a black curtain a few feet away, where a man crouched and clicked commands into a computer.

 "It would be nice if the robot was a bit more clever, but she is very good at expressing herself," said new husband Tomohiro Shibata, 42, a professor of robotics at the Nara Institute of Science and Technology in central Japan.

The I-Fairy sells for about 6.3 million yen ($68,000) and three are in use in Singapore, the U.S. and Japan, according to company spokeswoman Kayako Kido. It has 18 degrees of motion in its arms, and mainly repeats preprogrammed movements and sounds.

HEY!! If you want clever? GET A HUMAN TO MARRY YOU. Come on! This stupid thing doesn't even stand on its own!! I can put a wreath of flowers on one of those damn idogs. It barks,  runs around,  fuckin rolls over... Its a lot cheaper and funnier to see a robot dog go nuts "marrying" a couple...

My brain hurts.

7 things....

So first... Oops. I didn't realize it had been like 10 days since my last post.... Sorry about that. Life has been a bit busy.

I owe a reader a PAT rant... but that's not what this post will be about today. Soon. I promise. One of my favorite blogs inspired me the other day.... Now I am following thru with the comment I left saying I would blog my answer...

The other day BurghBaby wrote This Post: Celebrating Our Talents that was inspired by a blog she saw.


I have thought long an hard about 7 things I feel I excel at. And it is very true.... Somewhere along the way we stop being proud of our talents. Here are 7 things I am proud of about me.

#1. I am Self Taught. For years, I have built (rebuilt) my own PC's from scratch .  Starting w a memory upgrade to my first Packard bell when i was a freshman in college. No Formal Schooling. Everything I know about building pc's, I have taught myself. I asked a ton a of questions, did tons of research, made mistakes... (last upgrade my mistakes were admittedly cause it had been 5 yrs since the last build). I may not have always done it the "right way" but "Angie's Way" has never failed me yet. I know one reader who did have schooling for it that nearly died when he found out how I greased a processor.

#2. I am a good mother. Julia is behaved for a 3 1/2 YR old. She says please, thank you, kisses my boo-boo's when I have them... ( I'm good a being a klutz too) She is an outgoing, smart and sassy little girl. I would like to think that is because how much I love her. Sometimes she is still the mistress of destruction, but hell... what girl isn't every once in a while?

#3. I am an excellent singer. While I never got to do much w my voice after high school... I have never stopped singing. My range is not as big as it used to be, but its decent. (Ask the person who drove me home from HelloSAL and had to listen to me sing Fiona Apple's Criminal as loud as I drunkenly could) I was in a special program for 2 years in high school that required an audition to get in to. I sang at a wedding when I was in college too.

#4. I am Creative. I have written a full novel. I like to believe it is a good book. Some people who have read it gave me great feedback. I have half of one done that I might one day get time to finished. I but I wrote the whole story from scratch. Edited it 10,000 times. I am proud of that book. One day I will get it published.

#5. I am great friend and listener. I am not always ranting. I am there for my friends. Listening, giving advice when I can. Consoling or supportive when I cant. I try to always be there for my friends. I do my very best to be the kind of friend I want to have.

#6. I can RANT. Just ask the twitter friends of mine who met up with me at @pghrugbyangel's birthday party... Me ranting in writing is apparently just a taste of entertainment compared to me ranting out loud when I am pissed. That is probably because you get the inflection, and the written word has more thought than words just coming out of my mouth when I am venting...

#7. I can arrange me some furniture. It was a skill I acquired in high school when I needed to be in control of something. I laid the smack down on my bedroom more than a few times. No matter the size... i find a way to move it. Myself. Till this day, put me in a room and I will find a way to arrange it. Multiple ways. Usually in the middle of the night...

Now, there is my 7. Can you name 7 for yourself??