The Damn Highway "Police"

Ok. So. Everyone who knows me knows that I, more often than not, never drive the speed limit. In the interest of @beaglehq not tracking my ass down and writing me tickets... I'm not saying how fast I drive. LOL.

What drives this post (see that? Made a pun Hahahaha) today is a new thing I have noticed on the highways recently. It's become very very aggravating. I call them "speed police." These are people who see you rolling up the highway doing *cough* mph and decide your going too fast. So, what they do is shoot out in to the passing lane and refuse to move back or pick up the effing pace. In some cases, I have seen them slow to below the speed limit or matching speeds with a car in the right lane so that everyone is stuck behind them. Thus causing a traffic jam on the damn highway at rush hour when we are all in a damn hurry. I always end up stuck behind 3-4 cars who are being held up by someone who woke up on the Jagoff side of the bed.

We are in a hurry for a REASON.
It's called the wexford exit of agony construction.

So please, "speed police," stop being assholes. We weren't bothering you in the slow lane. We weren't tailgating anyone. We are just trying to get to work for goodness sake.
If some of us want to drive *cough*, then that is on us if we get a ticket.
Don't glare with anger at the people who decided to pass you on the right side because you refused to get in the NON-passing lane. They followed you for a couple miles while you did [much slower speed] intentionally. You put everyone in foul moods because we know its gonna be at least 15-20 minutes just to get thru that small work zone.

Also when getting on 79 from 228 there is almost NO EXCUSE to not be doing 65 (the speed limit there) at the end of the 4 mile long on ramp.  Jez!!! I have almost been nailed by people while trying to merge because they are not even CLOSE to the highway speeds at the end of the ramp. Or they slam on their brakes just as they merge.

WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS SO LONG???
So that you can MERGE with traffic. Not so you can attempt to cause a pile up there.

Stop being rude. Stop almost causing accidents. Please. (See that? I was nice and said please.)

Ps. I hate 4square. I loathe 4square day and how it blew up my Twitter feed with over 100 of that same damn mother effing post in the span of a couple hours.  Please, my dear Twitter friends.... I love you. But you guys are killing me here. Does it really need to be posted to Twitter that you unlocked 4sq day???? 100 times?

This is why fakesquare is returning with my own brand of twistedness.

Pps. Get glue? You are cruising to end up on my shit list too. But your not there yet.

Suck it PennDOT.

Tis the season traffic and gas prices make me want to weep with despair. Looks like I'm going to have to cancel my trip to Georgia this summer. I can't afford to drive there now and I'm not brave enough to take Julia on a plane myself for the first time ever, for both of us.
So...  Closer to home it is. :-(

Liberty tunnels of doom.

I will call them that until they put some Gawd damn lights back in there. I really REALLY have no clue what they are doing. Other than being dumb. I've been at current job for almost 2 yrs. They have been working on the tunnels that long. I saw the resurfacing of the walls. I saw some washing of ceiling and walls.
What gets me are the lights. On both sides, they spent WEEKS cleaning the lights on one side of the each tunnel.
Guess what???
The effers took down the lights they cleaned!!!! Weeks wasted. To removed the clean lights and leave the filthy ones. So its still like doom in there while they install new lights in the now dirty (again) and UNPAINTED tunnels.
Isn't it easier to clean and paint BEFORE you put up new lights????
Idiots.

Wexford Exit of Agony.

I don't think I can better describe the bridge reconstruction any better. Really.

Eff PATransit

There are several reasons I am thankful I don't ride buses anymore.... Even when I complain about the shit on 79 north. It is ALWAYS better than a bus. Over the last few days... I have felt compelled to write about this.
A tweet from PGHtraffic on 3/28. When it was like 20*

Early word is most @PGHtransit svc running smoothly but trips missed on some routes. Dress warm and be patient. #pittsburgh #transit

Angie's Translation:
Dear riders, We cut service and decided to EFF some more of you over by not effing SHOWING UP. Hope you didn't need to go to work.
Signed, Assholes who work at PAT

From this article in the PG Onorato: No deal better than bad deal with Port Authority workers

Mr. Onorato acknowledged that the proposals were "tough" but said he was disappointed neither was put to a union vote. "The drivers never got to see it. They have no idea what's in there," he said.
He said the authority currently is paying $31.5 million a year for health care for 3,300 retirees -- more than the 2,700 active employees who get it. By contrast, the much bigger SEPTA transit agency in Philadelphia spends $8 million, he said.

Angie Translation:
We pay more people more money to  people who are *not* employees than we have actually working. And by working we include the ones who are habitually late or skip trips and never can be fired cause the union nedz moneyz 4 duez.

Headline I saw in the PG today

 Port Authority union willing to restart talks

Angie Translation:
OMG they called our service cut bluff FINALLY!!!! AHHHH !!! The union nedz those moneyz from duez but we have to lay paying members off!!!

I can attest there are decent drivers, and they put up with tons of shit including nut cases and buses that are literally falling apart. As for PAT and the union?  I say... let them go bankrupt. Eff it. They did this to themselves by being damn greedy.  
$31.5 million a year for health care for 3,300 retirees????
So, yeah. Let them go bankrupt. Lose all their benefits. Crumble to bits. Creditors will fight over the parts. Debit will be written off.  Retirees will find themselves like the rest of the effing US economy. There would be hardly any service for a while and traffic will be hideous.

Hopefully, from it would rise a leaner less bullshit heavy transit system. The current one is such a damn mess. Its almost pointless to try and save it. We go thru this shit EVERY YEAR. The transit system should be growing with the cost of gas (AGAIN) being so high. Not shrinking and being less and less useful. Maybe it is time to shut the whole effing thing down and rebuild it from the trolley lines and bus ways...out. How about we have a rule that if your a terrible driver, terrible at your job, you get effing fired? You know, LIKE THE REST OF US.


I'm sure one of my 100 readers will disagree with me, but I think union are mostly bullshit these days. They had their place, but in today's world, I don't believe they do any real good. They create bullshit and take your money for their damn dues. Oh, they keep bad employees from getting fired and/or staying that way. Yeah... cause that is a good thing.

It's my blog. I'll bitch if I want to.

Before anyone goes all Pittsburgh on me.... This is my place to rant. So today, I'm ranting about weather.

This has felt like the longest winter EVER. I'm sick of the cold. Of heavy winter coats. Of sweaters. I don't give a shit if this is normal for Pittsburgh in March. As far as I am concerned... As soon as the first day of spring hit, all snow and frost became forbidden.

Maybe its the two winters of terrifying, epically long commutes, shoveling shit loads snow, bitter cold temperatures early and relentless in their staying power, the mother effing stink bugs that some how still appear or that liar groundhog.

What ever it is... I'm sick of winter.
Yeah, I could move. But I probably never will despite an urge to do so this winter more than any other. Why? Well, despite its flaws, I love Pittsburgh very much. It's not Pittsburgh's fault that it's located in weather bullshit central of Pa. I would point out all the weather and earth bullshit that doesn't happen here, except I don't want to jinx us. Also, my family and friends.... They would ALL have to move with me. That's not happening. They love Pittsburgh too. You're stuck with me.

So, I will bitch and moan about winter. But as I did last year, I will make you a promise.... I will not utter a word of complaint about 90 and holy hawt. Cause I can always go swimming. You didn't hear a peep last year either. Go look. Look at my archives, look at my 17,000+ tweets. (OMG, do I ever shut up???) There are no complaints. Not one.

Bring it on already. Also, someone needs to do something about that lying effing groundhog. Srsly.

My next post will be called "suck it, penndot." I'll write it tomorrow as I sit in epic bullshit traffic on northbound 279/79 as I desperately try to get to Cranberry in less than an hour and half.
Bastards.

Open letter to my car. And ode to my dad.

Dear Impala,
Yes, I know you don't have a name or even a car gender. I tend to name my computers... not my cars... But your gonna earn the name Bitch if you don't knock your shit off.
Srsly.
I put mid grade gas in you. I listen to good music in you. I make sure that your oil is changed, your tires are correctly inflated. You get regular baths even in winter... I get the damn good wash too. The list goes on. I know you have boo-boos, some are my fault. Some aren't. I am working on fixing those, so cut me some slack.
Lately... you have fish-tailed and spun out on me. I'll blame part of that on the effing snow. The cigarette lighter socket quit working for no damn reason leaving me to chose between charging my phone or listening to my Zen w the other port.  But this wiper arm? On the driver's side?
It is on my last damn nerve.
The first time it came loose I thought I was screwed. It flopped all over the windshield like a fish out of water. Thankfully my dad got my frantic voicemail an knew exactly what was wrong after talking to me. He fixed it. In like 3 damn minutes.
It was fine for about month. Then I noticed it was out of position the night of snowhell. It was going too far again. And I adjusted it. Then I woke up to more effing snow Sunday morning. While I cursed the whole way to the car, I wasn't counting on you being a bitch.
As soon as I switched on the wiper and saw it flop off the side of the CAR, I invented new curse words... I repositioned the arm. AGAIN. On my way to cranberry I called my dad, (thank you daddy, for answering the phone at 830 am on a Sunday) and ask in my rant mode voice, what the eff tool should I buy to fix my effing wiper arm. Why? Because the damn thing is flopping on the side of my damn car AGAIN!! It looks like its trying to reach the door window!!!
Tonight after work, my dad was out in the cold and dark putting a locking washer and some locktite on there. I put the arm in the right position. This better be the last time we talk about this. I don't want to have to replace the whole effing arm. If you don't knock your shit off, I'll put more princess band aids on you!
I'll start calling you "the bitch."
[Mom voice]
I mean it.Enough.
Love, me.