Here is a headline you don't see everyday:
Wife of Pirates prospect arrested for kidnapping
Me: Hey look, the Pirates are in the news!
And proof that sometimes it's better to stay home and wack off to internet porn if your that hard up:
This is the *real* headline from MSNBC:
Man caught in vacuum sex act gets 90 days
A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in prison. Jason Leroy Savage must also submit to drug testing.And that's all I really want to know.