Odds N Ends

I know.... there is a list out there of non violent things that should get you sent straight to hell. I am pretty sure.... this is one of them:

Cops: Woman takes kneeling woman's cash in church

WESTBURY, N.Y. – Nassau County police said a congregant at a Long Island church disregarded at least one of its commandments: Thou shalt not steal. Police said the 46-year-old woman reached over a pew and took cash from a purse while its owner knelt Sunday at Our Lady of Hope Roman Catholic Church in Westbury. Police said an usher saw the theft, and officers stopped the woman as she left the church.

Police said they determined the same woman stole cash from another worshipper's purse while that victim took communion May 10.

The woman has been released on an appearance ticket after being arrested on petty larceny charges. She faces up to a year in jail if convicted.

Stealing in the church? Twice? Jez, that takes BALLS and stupidity. With sweet baby Jesus (shout out to will farrell) looking on, a church full of worshipers, ushers and clergy?
"When was your last confession?"
"2 weeks ago"
"Tell me your sins" or what ever it is they say... I'm not catholic.
"I just stole money from another lady's purse. "
"What?"

I never thought Cheetos were dangerous. I am still trying to figure out how they became a weapon....

Couple accused of assault using Cheetos

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. - Authorities say a Tennessee couple got into a fight using Cheetos.

The Bedford County Sheriff's Department say a 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman became involved in a "verbal altercation." Somehow, the orange puffy snacks were used in the assault.

Deputies say they were charged with domestic assault. No one was hurt.

So, then HOW was someone assaulted with the damn Cheetos? I need to know. Cause if someone breaks into my house and all I have are Cheetos, I want to be able to whoop some criminal's ass with them. Damn it!
Here is the dumbest thief in Germany:

Thief nabbed selling stolen mower to owner

BERLIN (Reuters) – A thief in Germany was arrested after he tried to sell a garden mower online to the man he had stolen it from, police said Wednesday.

"The owner went to inspect the goods and recognized the mower as his own," said a spokesman for police in the southern town of Tuebingen. "Then he left and told police."

Officers confronted the 46-year-old suspect, who confessed to stealing the mower from a shed in February. He later put it for sale on internet auction site eBay, the spokesman said.

Note to self... don't sell stolen shit online and in the same area where YOU STOLE IT FROM.

To close out the month: The Worst Parent of the Month award goes too:

Woman pleads guilty in drunken breast-feeding case

GRAND FORKS, N.D. – A North Dakota woman accused of breast-feeding her 6-week-old baby while drunk has pleaded guilty to child neglect. Stacey Anvarinia, 36, could face up to five years in prison when she's sentenced on the felony charge in August.

Judge Sonja Clapp says Anvarinia will not have to register as an offender against children.

Police officers who responded to a domestic disturbance call at Anvarinia's home on April 13 say they saw an intoxicated Anvarinia breast feeding. Health officials say alcohol consumed by breast-feeding mothers can be absorbed into an infant's system.

Attorneys believe it's the first such case prosecuted in North Dakota

Wonderful. Some people need smacked in the head and their reproductive organs taken away She is one of them.