Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Stupid Hall of Fame: Moron Edition

Alas, here is another edition of proof that Natural Selection no longer affects humanity like it should:

From AP/Yahoo news

NJ man charged in police station restroom rampage

GLOUCESTER TOWNSHIP, N.J. – A South Jersey man is in a mess of trouble for
allegedly making a mess inside a police station. Police said 24-year-old Jason Detora was at the station early Sunday with his girlfriend, 22-year-old Nicole Leadbeater, who'd been arrested for driving under the influence. She'd gone to pick him up at a bar where he couldn't pay his bill.

Police said Detora went into the men's room, defecated on the floor, smeared feces on the walls and set fire to paper towels and toilet paper. Detora was being held at the Camden County Jail on arson and criminal mischief charges.

Hey dumb ass... Uh.... did you not realize they could figure out WHO did it since you were IN THE POLICE STATION? Apparently, the girlfriend is no smarter since she was picked up on a DUI while picking up the moron boyfriend of hers from the bar.

Apparently we need to start teaching people when it is appropriate to call 911 and when it isn't. Lesson 1: This is not a reason to call 911.

Man calls 911 over 28-year-old son's messy bedroom (AP)

BEDFORD, Ohio – An Ohio man who argued with his grown son over a messy bedroom said he overreacted when he called 911. Andrew Mizsak called authorities Thursday after his 28-year-old son — who's a school board member in the Cleveland suburb of Bedford — threw a plate of food across the kitchen table and made a fist at him when told to clean his room. The son, also named Andrew, lives in a room in his parents' basement.
The father declined to press charges and told police he doesn't want to ruin his son's political career.
The son, who also works as a political consultant, said he's lucky to be living in the house rent free. He also promises to keep his room clean.

Yeah... I imagine this kid doesn't have a shot at a political career living in the BASEMENT of his parent house at *28 years old*. If at 28, you can't keep your room decent or live on your own... I'm not voting for you. Really dude, what office are you running for? Mayor of Star Trek, Star Wars or Hogwarts? Some dumb people and their kids...

And finally, proof that some people should not be allowed to breathe (or at least, that if it wasn't a reflex they wouldn't remember to do it):

Cops: Driver was under influence of bowl of cereal (AP)
NEEDHAM, Mass. – A Massachusetts man may wish he had breakfast in bed instead of in his car. Police said a man who was stopped for erratic driving on Central Avenue last week was eating a bowl of cereal and milk while he drove. He told officers he was hungry.
Lt. John Schlittler told The Boston Globe that the 48-year-old man, whose name was not released, was also driving with an expired license. The man has been cited for unlicensed operation, failure to stay in lanes and operating to endanger.
Schlittler didn't know what kind of cereal the driver was eating.

I am still trying to figure out how someone this dumb lived to be 48. 48!!! Eating cereal WHILE driving on an EXPIRED license??!! I can't make this shit up! My brain can't comprehend the level of stupid required to eat a bowl of cereal while driving. This is Dumbass to th 10th power.

I think this guy wins The Stupid Hall of Fame Award for this Month.

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