Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You have 1 new text message

Hmmm... I saw this today in the PG:

Planning a family? Text message service tells you when the time is right

And I thought to myself. If you need a text message to tell you to have sex... Your too f&%$ing busy to have kids.

When Tonya Whitfield's cell phone buzzes with a text message, it could be a few words from a friend, a note from work -- or a reminder that it's time to grab her husband.
That's a message from the folks at Give the Web site the details of your menstrual cycle and it will send you messages advising when it's, well, time.
The free service is called, appropriately, "Booty Caller." Its motto: "We tell you when, you decide where."

First... I am not putting that shit on a website. Second... Its easy to get pregnant if you want to. The first way is to just do it every day. :-) Oh that's right. I am the rare one of female species that is willing to DO IT every day. Ha! And just ask Miss 14 kids, no man, no job, no house. She has a damn litter of kids now. She knows how to pop out kids real good.

At 32, Mrs. need a text to remember to try to have kids, should have a fairly good idea of when a good time to get laid is by now.

In many ways, Booty Caller is an extension of natural family planning: charting
one's cycles to avoid or seek pregnancy.
So far, no user has informed the Web site that a Booty Caller baby is en route, but Ms. Murray is hopeful.

So... uh... It hasn't actually worked for ANYONE yet???

Married to husband Terrance for almost two years, Ms. Whitfield has miscarried
three times. She decided to try Booty Caller last month. She was excited by the

I really have to point out that this service will NOT prevent a miscarriage. I am sad that she has had them, and I understand there are people who need help getting pregnant. I am not insensitive to those who really do need help. But, you have to admit a text message reminder to get laid just seems absurd or at least hilarious. And I text alot. Maybe some of the grownups can take a que from the kids... Naked pics thru text messages. Text some boobs! Your over 18 so its legal! That should get you laid.

An expectant father in New York developed the Kickbee, a stretchable band with
embedded sensors that sends a message via the social networking site Twitter
when his unborn child kicks his wife -- essentially, chatting from the womb

OK... now that is insane.

Here hon, I know your carrying a baby and you are getting your insides stomped on, have to pee 300 times a day, cant walk right, cant sleep right, crave or severely hate certain foods, gained weight and need maternity clothes, but could you just wear this stretchy band so the baby can f&%$ing Twitter???


1 comment:

  1. I would not like my hypothetical child being born addicted to twitter in the womb.